Americans like the idea of happy.
of pursuing happiness.
It is even one of our inalienable rights at least according to the Declaration of Independance.
It is even one of our inalienable rights at least according to the Declaration of Independance.
But I think maybe we should pursue something else.
like love or joy or peace or contentment.
and leave happy alone.
Don't read me wrong. I am neither bitter nor cynical. Even my problems are good problems. I am positive. Half full. And most days I laugh a whole lot more than I cry.
And simple things like a dance party in the living room, an hour alone in Barnes and Noble, the yellow pajama pants my son picked out for me for mother's day, potstickers, clean sheets, someone surprising me with coffee, jeans fresh from the dryer, a good song on the radio, or squeals of delight when I walk in the door all make my heart sing.
They make me happy.
For a minute.
But when the squealing turns to screaming, my new pants are dirty, the sheets are in a jumble on the floor or the coffee runs out....where does that leave me?
And happy isn't always good.
I remember talking to a favorite old friend right before Owen was born.
She told me that she was leaving her husband. That she wasn't sure she loved him anymore. That she just wasn't happy. So she was leaving.
There was another guy who made her happy and she was going to give that a try for a while.
She was pursuing happy and threw away of lot of good things in the process.
I wanted to hop in my car and drive the three hours to see her. To love her. And then shake some sense into her.
I think maybe we are all so often unhappy because we are pursuing somthing that won't last or an ideal that doesn't really exist. The fake picture we saw on the Cosby show or read about in greeting cards.
Happy is short lived. Experiential. And we keep desperately looking for it. Hoping for it to show up on our doorstep, in shopping bags, bottles, other people and pills. And it often makes it's brief appearance and then moves on to someone else.
I want to seek something a little more permanant.
A joy forever etched in my soul. That is still there even on days where I struggle to smile. In being content. Like Paul. Paul wrote the "happiest" book of the bible, Philipians, while rotting in a jail cell. Because his joy didn't come from his circumstances or his new favorite pair of pajama pants. But from Christ.
And He is surely worth pursuing.
(this post is part 2 of some fun stuff going on over at momalon's five for ten. click on over and check it out.)
Comments
Glad to meet you here as part of Five for Ten!
I loved your list of happy things....warm jeans, dance party etc. I can relate to all of those.
Happy Wednesday!
Thrilled to have found my way here via the lovely sisters @ Momalom!
This reminds me of something I read on The Parents' Tao Te Ching, about what you teach your children:
"If you teach them to achieve
they will never be content.
If you teach them contentment,
they will naturally achieve everything."
I would like to think that applies to happiness.
I've written before that we need to be ok with being "fine". We don't need to be thrilled, overjoyed or laughing all the time. We can just be fine. And that's fine.
Great post! Love finding you here through momalom!
I think it's great that you wrote this. It's brave. These days its all about "doing what makes you happy" but perhaps that's misdirected... Definitely something to ponder this morning!
Rachel @ MWF Seeking BFF
www.mwfseekingbff.com
Would like to know what happened to your friend. Are you brave enough to post about it? Or can you just tell me next time we meet?
Or
like that song, "if you can't be with the one you love, then love the one your with"
Great Post
I think what we want is permanence, but are content with short-term happiness. Maybe that is the problem. Quick fixes to deeper, more complicated dilemmas.
Nice to meet you through Momalom.
Looking for something more concrete does sound much better than looking for something fleeting. Thank you for this awesome post.
And there it all became clear. And I agree with you that pursuing peace in self is much more critical then pursuing happiness, which is typically defined by something quite momentary (for instance, this luscious pizza I'm eating).
Wondeful post. Thank you.
Great to meet you through Momalom.
Belinda Munoz + The Halfway Point
http://thehalfwaypoint.net/
Well said, lady. Well said. Thank you :)
You've got me thinking...
But i loved it. Loved it.