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Canceled

I inhale books. So much so that I’m occasionally embarrassed by my intake. I don’t want anyone to think that I don’t work or pay attention to my family.  I’m just a fast reader and I don’t watch a lot of TV or play any games on my phone. Well – except for Wordle of course. My library card get a lot of miles. However, I still probably spend an embarrassing amount on books.  Even though I often put books in those cute little free libraries – I still have more books than shelves.  Today I did something tragic.  I did not renew my book of the month membership.  And let's be honest, it is more like three books a month.  I am not unhappy with the customer service, quality  or selection.  Book of the Month, I promise …it’s not you - it’s me.  I want to invest in my writing and I realize this going to cost me.  I don’t want to take that money from my family or my kid’s college funds.  Instead I had to evaluate what I was willing to give up.  What financial choices impact me but not as many
Recent posts

slow

Recently I went to the local running store and let them charge a ridiculous amount for a new pair of running shoes. I used to run. Just like I used to do lots of things, but lately I have been slow to get off the couch. Let’s be honest. This season has been a long one, and I’ve been slow to do a lot of things that are good for me. My old shoes are wearing thin and nothing motivates like a new pair of kicks.  I quickly found my brand and style of choice and asked the worker to bring them in my size. The owner spoke up from the back, “So you are picking your shoes out based on how they look?” I pulled my own foot into her view. I showed her a similar pair in teal, well worn, with the big toe scuffed all the way through. The model was a few years old and I needed a fresh start.  “Nope. These are my brand, but I’m open to your suggestions.” Runners are very particular about their shoes.  I tell her I need something to absorb a lot of the impact.  I tell her that I overpronate just a little

The annual REAL Christmas letter: 2021 edition

  One of my favorite traditions for over a  decade has been to sit down and try to write a REAL Christmas letter.  Not just the highlights, but a few honest moments as well. It started as a joke with one of my friends, thinking how refreshing it be for people to share more than just their perfect lives that we are used to seeing on Facebook and Instagram. It would be way more truthful and a whole lot more entertaining. So here goes… 2021 I had such high hopes for you. Well, actually the bar was pretty low but clearly not low enough. If I have learned anything from 2020 it is that even things that are difficult, the days are still a gift. It is a gift to gather with family without a Covid test or a worrisome 5 days after. It is a gift to go to the movies or a concert. It is a gift to go to work, school and sporting events. It is a gift to get vaccines, to board an airplane to sit in a pew at church. It is a gift to be allowed back to visit someone in the emergency room. It is a gift to

home. (this is twenty)

  I was a mess at 19. I knew who I (thought) I wanted to be, I just didn’t have the discipline to get there. I did very few things whole-heartedly. I skipped class. I semi-committed. I could never remember to take my clothes out of the wash and put them into the dryer before they got that weird moldy smell (ok sometimes I still struggle with this). I drank too much. I went to church sporadically. I worked out, but then ate my weight in chips and salsa.  I listened to rap and country and Christian “rock”. I changed my hair color about as often as I changed my sheets. I got tiny tattoos that I thought I could hide. I changed my major. I didn’t make many good decisions when I was 19, but I did make at least one. I said yes when a shaggy haired guy who desperately needed to shave asked me to a soccer game. He forgot to ask for my number or say how we’d get to this soccer game. But it was enough.  From the beginning, it felt different. Mostly I just tried not to screw it up (and I did a few

DNA test

  My daughter has been asking for a DNA test. She looks just like me and has many of my husband’s traits...so I doubt she is questioning her paternity.  I suspect it is because we recently ordered one for our new puppy.  The Australian Shepherd that looks nothing like a shepherd.  She is half the size of our previous dogs and has mostly short hair rather than the lengthy fluff of a normal Aussie. Her ears are just a little too pointy and snout too narrow.  We were curious so I ordered a kit on Amazon.  I feel like we waited forever for the results to come in. I stopped strangers in public when they had dogs that looked like mine and asked what kind they were. I was afraid we’d get answers like chihuahua. And the results were surprising.  She is mostly what we were told.  With a hint of some other similar breeds. None of which really account for her looks or temperament.  Tess asked again for a DNA test, maybe for her birthday, she suggested.  Her birthday is not until September and so

The annual REAL Christmas letter 2020 edition

Usually, this annual “real” Christmas letter starts with the premise of sharing the good and the bad rather than just the traditional picture-perfect Christmas letters we used to get in the mail. That is probably unnecessary this year. Frankly, I can’t remember a single thing before March. We went on a trip at the beginning of Spring Break and I feel like I fell down some kind of rabbit hole and returned to a whole new world. One that has been hard to escape.  We skied. It was perfect. And then we came home. There was no toilet paper. I waited for my phone to ring.  For schools to close for two weeks. I worked in pajama pants. I checked the numbers daily. I was not worried.  And then I was.  Two weeks turned into the rest of the school year. The cities literally burned. The death counts climbed. But in some weird numbness, we watched it all happen from the comfort of our living room. With food that was delivered and left by the door. I spent more time in online meetings than I ever tho