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Showing posts from January, 2010

painted toenails

A while back I painted Tess's toenails for the first time. I know she is just a baby but I couldn't resist those little pink piggies. As soon as I set her and her new pink toes down on the ground she literally pranced around, beaming, and just stared at her sassy new toes. At 15 months old she already seemed to know what a fresh coat of paint can do for a girl!

Many sprink breaks ago, the kind before kids, I went to Atlanta. I had a friend there doing some inner city mission work and I wanted to have my own pretend mission trip to the week. I played with kids after school. I filed paperworked. I painted a house. I ate some really good food. Stayed up late talking. And on Thursday I went to a Womens Shelter and met a women named Constance. She went every Thursday and told her story and then painted toes. And it may have been the best thing I did all week. Here is what I remember about that day.

Constance met me at the car. She was a fiftyish black woman who was dressed sim…

i wonder where my passport is?

Blogging is how I tend to process things.
But some things are just too big to write about.

Like how great my husband is.
A camp I used to go to.
Some of my favorite friendships
And the huge ridiculous love I have for my kids.

Sometimes there just aren’t words.

Haiti has kind of been like that.
So despite everyone else’s blog posts about it.
I haven’t gone there.
Yes. I have seen the pictures.
Yes. My heart broke for these people.
And something instantly in me wanted to go.

But that was it.
I tried to help organize some fund raising efforts at school.
But mostly I have done nothing.
Except change the channel, because it is all a little too much to take in.
I haven’t even sent a dime.

On Friday I read this blog:
http://flowerdust.net/2010/01/22/im-going-to-haiti/
And felt a twinge of what she said wasn’t really ok.
Jealous.
Because I didn’t know what to do.
I didn’t have any money to send.
And it is so hard to sit and watch the news and do nothing.
And I know in the middle of all that rubble
Is God.
And yes. I…

butt check

The other day I decided that my monthly dues to the Y might be good for a little more than a donation and decided to hit the treadmills.

7 pm in January is about the busiest time for any gym. So there was slim pickings on the equipment. I finally found an empty machine on the last row and settled in. I typed in my ever-growing age and weight and picked a program. I turned up the ipod. I started sweating.
I wasn’t going to make the 30 minutes if I didn’t find some distractions. I hate watching tv without any sound. Especially home and graden tv.
I can’t read on a treadmill ( too bouncy) so I started looking around.
Rows and rows of butts were in front of me. Most of which were crammed in to slightly too tight black athletic pants.

So as I stared at all these butts I started to wonder what I looked like from this view.
Because I think I have an idea.
And it isn’t really pretty.

But my self perception is usually a bit off. Maybe it wasn’t as bad as I imagined. Or maybe it was even worse….
S…

my day job part 2

Yesterday a student approached my desk to ask about her grade.
This particular student isn’t one I really notice. She is relatively quiet. Makes average grades. Less than stellar social skills. This is the kind of student that I run into a few years from now and think, they look familiar…but can’t place them…..or remember their name or much about them. Forgetable.
Until yesterday.
No, there is not some sob story that endeared her to my heart.
No, we didn’t have a “moment” where we bonded and I suddenly realized she is a lot like me.
No, she didn’t thank me for teaching her the laws of physics and making her life better.
Instead, her awkward social skills pointed out something about me that I did not want to hear.
And was so right on.

She stood at my computer and asked me if I liked my job.
Kids do this all the time. Usually because other kids in the class are driving them crazy and they don’t know how I can stand it. Or sometimes because they want to be a teacher too. I assumed this was…

my day job

some of you might wonder how I do it? you know write all these brilliant posts AND teach high school?
Easy-Peasy. Tess does all the grading.
If by grading you mean rolling around in my nice neat piles, throwing papers around the room, scribbling all over them with a bright red pen ( at least she got that right) and eating a few corners. And just in time, beacuse my semester grades are due in a matter of hours.
Yes, I made As in both sarcasm and procrastination....

jumping in

Go read John 21 right now.
Really do it. At least the first half.
Even if you don't really like the bible.
Read it anyways just so this post will make sense.
And I promise not to get all preachy.

Ok, so hopefully you did it and now you're back.

Plenty of jumping off points and weird things to talk about in that story.
Like the fact that Jesus had already been crucified and this is basically a conversation with a dead man.
Like that fact that John is referred to "the disciple that Jesus loved" which is a pretty great way to refer to yourself.
That he asks Peter the same question three times.

That these guys who had followed Jesus everywhere just months before. Who heard him preach. Who saw his miracles and even did a few themselves. Seemed to be right back to where they started from. Out fishing. Having a pretty lousy morning.
Until some guy on the shore pipes up.

And yes. It is a cool story. Jesus shows up and of course they don't recognize him. Because they never do. And he…

Blog: Tour Simple Compassion

This is my third book of Keri's to read, and I must say that every single one of them has made me breathe a little deeper and slow down.
Which is really really hard for me to do.
I do everything fast. I read fast. I eat fast. I talk fast and I write fast ( which might explain all my typos). This is good in the world of multitasking and checking things off your to-do list...but not so much for playing with my kids, building relationships, enjoying and resting.
Sometimes "quiet time" or reading my bible is just something to check off my list. Which means the faster I read or pray, the faster I can go to sleep or do the dishes. Which means I miss out on pretty much the point and most everything that God has to say.

I read ridiculously fast. On vacations I like to pride myself on reading almost "a book a day".
Which means that I have read ALOT of books.
But it also means that I have forgotten most of them.
It means I have occasionally skipped over parts and missed things.

pretty

I have some beautiful friends who don’t think they are pretty enough.
They have such a hard time with their body image. Even though their pant size is probably divisble into my own.
But I am ok with my body.
Mostly.
Except when Target puts out swimsuits in January. (not nice).

Or at least I think I am.
Because really, I don’t think about it much.
I buy my make up at the grocery store.
Get hair cuts once a quarter (or less).
Am not afraid to dye my own on a whim, or cut it all off.
Will wear the same jeans for 5 days straight.
And is not afraid to go to the grocery store in exactly what I slept in.

But maybe not caring.
Isn’t the same as being ok with it.
Maybe it is even worse.

The other day my friend asked me to “model” for a photography event she is doing.
I of course said yes because their isn’t so much I wouldn’t do for this friend.
But the request made me laugh and worry and wonder why she didn’t ask someone else.
Like some of our cuter, skinnier friends who know how to accessorize.

I figured that …

oscopies

This morning I had an upper GI and a colonoscopy. The hardest part was getting there at 7:15 am and waiting almost 2 hours before they even thought about the procedure.
Me nervous, hungry and tired in your waiting room without ample reading material is not a good thing.

For those of you who just read the word colonoscopy and are worried about what kind of gross things I will be discussing……don’t worry. I won’t go there. I don’t even like to pee if there is someone in the stall next to me, so I won’t be talking about any of the other goings on on that end. Except to mention that after last night, my colon is so clean that you could eat off it. I swear, I bet the doctor could see his little camera reflection in my colon…but really that’s it. I promise.

And for those of you wondering/worrying about why I had the colonoscopy, endoscopy and handful of biopsies in the first place. Don’t worry your pretty little head. All is fine. Except for a few matters that would fall into the paragraph…

maybe this year will be better than the last.

because i am an eternal optimist, i can't leave that title hanging.
it was a good year.
ish.
december i could have done without.
and some other stuff in between.
but I have a job and beautiful kids and a fabulous husband and a home and friends and food.
and i can't believe it but i am going to quote my sister.
"even my problems are good problems"
i'd list a few but they seem pretty trivial.
just in the last few weeks, Shaun has gotten a phone call 3 times about the passing of a family member.
first his MeMe.
then an uncle, and barely after he got out of his funeral clothes on New Year's Eve, the phone rang again. His aunt.
3 funerals, 3 ear infections and one giant hole in the bathroom wall ( thanks to a slow leak and rotten drywall).
Let's just say it's been a long December.

Yesterday I told Owen, "Happy New Year".
He was puzzled and asked why I said that. I tried to explain that it was the first day of a new year. Still blank stares....
then I told him th…