Skip to main content

too little butter spread on too much bread

I think I'm quoting Bilbo Baggins...but am not sure. my husband could probably verify that for me.
In other words I'm too thin.

I've never been skinny.
Well. I've never felt skinny. I look back at pictures in high school and I was totally skinny. I just thought I was fat. Now, I think I'm skinny enough until the doctor wants to weigh me and WRITE IT DOWN, or I have to try on swimsuits and then I know the truth.....I'm not skinny. Not even a little bit. But most of the time I can ignore that and eat another cupcake.

So, as unskinny as I might be....... I am undoubtably way too thin.
And have been for years.
Spread so thin that everything in my life is kind of like eating at Golden Corral.
I can do lots of things. Some of them I'm even ok at. But almost none of them are very good. And When I keep going....I end up getting sick.

And I've gone on diets. I've cut back. And cut activities. But they always find their way back in. Like I miss playing soccer and bible studies and watching TV.
And I'm a fast paced over do it kind of girl anyways.

My summer just got started. And I thought I'd have more time for things like laying on the couch. talk shows. reading. blogging.
But, I've been running around crazier than ever. Soccer camp, lunch with friends, sprinklers, ice creamn, literally running, yoga, sushi, birthday parties and coffee.
lots of driving, rushing, eating. and pretty much the only time I've been still is when I'm exhausted on the yoga studio floor while someone reminds me to breathe.

And today I picked Owen up from soccer camp, ran some errands and decided to lay down because I didn't sleep good the night before. I told Owen we could go swimming after a quick rest.
But I couldn't will myself out of bed. Pretty much all afternoon.

I have never been good with calendars, but with multiple kids and appointments and practices and soccer snacks I kept missing stuff. So I eventually (or my husband) started using the one on my phone. Every day that has something scheduled shows up as a dot. And there are only 2 days between now and mid-July are dot free.
That is way too thin.
And I need more dot free days.
My calendar is getting fatter and I am getting thinner.
And this kind of thin isn't good and certainly doesn't look nice in a bathing suit.
This kind of thin is frazzled and late and tired.
So. For the rest of the summer, I'm gonna work on more butter and less bread.
More dot free days.Thin is overrated anyways.

And I'm pretty sure, that just gave me an excuse to have another cupcake.

Comments

Christine said…
I could have written this about myself. How have we become THOSE parents. That mom. Thanks for confirming that I am not alone.
You will miss these days...one day. But I am sure you have heard that one before. I do like some dot free, thin days now that they are all grown and gone, I can not lie.
Beth (and Eric) said…
Ahhh! I want a cupcake!

You read my mind. Although, I don't get a summer, so I think that parenthood just spreads you too thin.

And for some reason, I now have "Unskinny Bop" in my head. Thank a lot!
Kate said…
Again, I'm sharing this with some people I know. Michelle, you are so good at putting these thoughts into words. Thank you!!!
Kate
Kate said…
Thin, but not skinny. Tired, but can't sleep. Lists, they never quite get done. I'm missing the way time felt when I was in school. A weekend was eternity, summer? Oh, SUMMER just lasted nut everything I had ever even wanted to do. Then again I was always a Kate-of-all-skills, master of none. It would be nice to do one thing really well though.
Kate said…
Nut was supposed to be until. But I am nutty too.
ll10 said…
I agree! Maybe it would be fun to hire a shaufer for a day and let them do the running around while you nap in the back.

Popular posts from this blog

Either/Or

Recently I met an old friend for lunch. He was actually my senior high prom date. He wasn’t just my prom date, but had been my friend for a good part of high school. And our group has mostly stayed in touch through the years. But not him. Even though we live in the same big metroplex, I hadn’t seen him in almost 15 years. At prom, He even won some kind of senior superlative, Mr. BHS or something like that. In other words, he was well-liked, nice, funny and smart. And it helped that he drove a Camero. We didn’t break up or have a falling out. He kind of just disappeared. And not just from me, but from everyone. And I had looked for him. At class reunions. On myspace. And eventually, only about a year ago, he finally showed up on facebook. When he did, I suggested we get together for dinner or something. And he responded with a really awkward email. Explaining that he was gay. Warning me. Trying to let me out of my dinner invitation if I wanted. And I already knew this. Possibly I had ev...

me too

I used to never question God. It was just part of the way things were. Just like I believed in Santa and the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny. And eventually I grew up and started to wonder. I always believed, But occasionally I started to wonder if he was always good. If he really loved me. Singular me rather than an all inclusive version. That he was paying attention. That my prayers mattered.` And I didn’t know that I should play by the rules. That questioning these outloud things in a Bible study or Sunday School class Will get you bumped to the top of the prayer list. Because I know. But sometimes I wonder. And I didn’t need their scripture memory verses or their books or their prayers. (but I guess prayers never hurt) And I was just hoping for someone else to say “me too”. And, Jason Boyett’s book, O Me of Little Faith Is one great big “me too” And like most books I like he asks a whole lot more questions than he answers. Hard ones. Ones without real answers. Ones that make me wa...

Of course I did.

Today I am supposed to be doing my last installment in five for ten and write about "yes". And this is not at all the post I intended. But life sometimes doesn't take the turns we want it to. And yesterday a teacher friend of mine called and told me about a memorial service for one of my former studetns and asked if maybe I would consider saying something. And keep in mind, that as a teacher, I pretty much speak to groups of people all day for a living. But. If I have to say something serious and heartfealt, even to an audience of one, I usually get all mumbly and stare at my shoes and forget what I was going to say. Even though I love this kid....and will miss him terribly I have a hard time imaging myslef on stage talking to an auditorium filled with grief stricken friends and family. I texted another friend about my reservations. And she knows all too well my mumbly shoe staring state. And she replied, "Did you say yes?" Did which I typed back. "of cour...