too little butter spread on too much bread

I think I'm quoting Bilbo Baggins...but am not sure. my husband could probably verify that for me.
In other words I'm too thin.

I've never been skinny.
Well. I've never felt skinny. I look back at pictures in high school and I was totally skinny. I just thought I was fat. Now, I think I'm skinny enough until the doctor wants to weigh me and WRITE IT DOWN, or I have to try on swimsuits and then I know the truth.....I'm not skinny. Not even a little bit. But most of the time I can ignore that and eat another cupcake.

So, as unskinny as I might be....... I am undoubtably way too thin.
And have been for years.
Spread so thin that everything in my life is kind of like eating at Golden Corral.
I can do lots of things. Some of them I'm even ok at. But almost none of them are very good. And When I keep going....I end up getting sick.

And I've gone on diets. I've cut back. And cut activities. But they always find their way back in. Like I miss playing soccer and bible studies and watching TV.
And I'm a fast paced over do it kind of girl anyways.

My summer just got started. And I thought I'd have more time for things like laying on the couch. talk shows. reading. blogging.
But, I've been running around crazier than ever. Soccer camp, lunch with friends, sprinklers, ice creamn, literally running, yoga, sushi, birthday parties and coffee.
lots of driving, rushing, eating. and pretty much the only time I've been still is when I'm exhausted on the yoga studio floor while someone reminds me to breathe.

And today I picked Owen up from soccer camp, ran some errands and decided to lay down because I didn't sleep good the night before. I told Owen we could go swimming after a quick rest.
But I couldn't will myself out of bed. Pretty much all afternoon.

I have never been good with calendars, but with multiple kids and appointments and practices and soccer snacks I kept missing stuff. So I eventually (or my husband) started using the one on my phone. Every day that has something scheduled shows up as a dot. And there are only 2 days between now and mid-July are dot free.
That is way too thin.
And I need more dot free days.
My calendar is getting fatter and I am getting thinner.
And this kind of thin isn't good and certainly doesn't look nice in a bathing suit.
This kind of thin is frazzled and late and tired.
So. For the rest of the summer, I'm gonna work on more butter and less bread.
More dot free days.Thin is overrated anyways.

And I'm pretty sure, that just gave me an excuse to have another cupcake.


Christine said...

I could have written this about myself. How have we become THOSE parents. That mom. Thanks for confirming that I am not alone.

Writerly Wanna Be said...

You will miss these day. But I am sure you have heard that one before. I do like some dot free, thin days now that they are all grown and gone, I can not lie.

Beth (and Eric) said...

Ahhh! I want a cupcake!

You read my mind. Although, I don't get a summer, so I think that parenthood just spreads you too thin.

And for some reason, I now have "Unskinny Bop" in my head. Thank a lot!

Kate said...

Again, I'm sharing this with some people I know. Michelle, you are so good at putting these thoughts into words. Thank you!!!

Kate said...

Thin, but not skinny. Tired, but can't sleep. Lists, they never quite get done. I'm missing the way time felt when I was in school. A weekend was eternity, summer? Oh, SUMMER just lasted nut everything I had ever even wanted to do. Then again I was always a Kate-of-all-skills, master of none. It would be nice to do one thing really well though.

Kate said...

Nut was supposed to be until. But I am nutty too.

ll10 said...

I agree! Maybe it would be fun to hire a shaufer for a day and let them do the running around while you nap in the back.