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Showing posts from June, 2008

To my nonblogging friends..

So I am kind of a snooper. In high school if you forgot your purse at my house I might read the note from your boyfriend inside. In college if you left out your journal I might just read a page ( or the whole thing while watching the door to make sure you don't come home and catch me).
As a grown up the snooping thing has died down. I almost never check Shaun's cell phone, although if he gets a text while he is in the shower I will of course read it. I don't want him to miss something important.....it is even more fun to text back pretending to be him. It is hard enough to make friends as a grown up that I wouldn't risk losing one by digging through their drawers. Snooping was never about being in the know or looking for dirt. I was just always just trying to figure people out. Get to know them.
Myspace made that so much easier. Like 2 years ago ( actually probably longer ago than that ... but it took me a while to catch on). Wondering how an ex-boyfriend is doi…

Just the three of us??

It won't be just the three of us for much longer.........and truth be told it has barely been this month. I did some math a few days ago and Saturday night was the only night that me, Shaun and I got to stay in our home together for a 24 day stretch. First it was the inlaws, then Colorado, then the inlaws again, we left O there for a week and came back to lots and lots of fleas meaning me and shaun stayed in a hotel and/or with friends for 3 nights, back home but still no O, one night as a family, and then shaun is off to Kansas City ( ironically enough not even in Kansas). Me and O are here but in a few are headed to Houston, then Galveston where shaun will meet us. Sunday, maybe, our life will go back to normal.
If you had talked to me from Wednesday on last week you did not get a very fun girl on the phone. I missed O. I hated being home alone all day. Well now O is being more than I can handle by myself. There have been 2 major daddy moments in the last 24 hours alone. …

showing off

I hit the 6 month mark a few weeks ago and almost none of my old clothes fit anymore. I have moved past the fat stage to the true baby belly stage. Tess herself has moved past cute little jabs and kicks in my abdomen to all out acrobatics resulting in back pain, shortness of breath, major heartburn ....just for starters. The sad thing is I know I am going to get much bigger and much more uncomfortable in the next 3 and a half months.
I would like to pretend that this belly doesn't slow me down. But it does. I would also like to pretend that it isn't affecting some of my friendships. But it is.
You see, it seemed I got pregnant this time just by thinking about it. I have several friends and aquatiences where that is not the case. They have spent thousands of dollars, long hours in a waiting rooms, and had some pretty humiliating office visits all to end up in the same disappointed place each month.
If you subscribe to any parenting magazines or websites you willl notice an article…

still not home

My son has been at grandma's for a week. This sounded so good in theory. I couldn't wait to sleep in, read books, go to movies etc.
Instead I am bored and lonely. No good movies are out. I feel like I should be cleaning rather than wasting away in a Barnes and Nobles chair. I want O to come back home. I want to giggle and play in the sprinklers and pick his legos up off the floor.

book girl

This past year I changed schools and churches. Both of those transitions were pretty smooth in functionality. I love my new school and I love my new church and he purposes both of them serve. The community aspect of them didn't come so easy. It is hard to jump in and make new friends, especially when you still like your old ones who didn't go anywhere.
The church decision was kind of thrust upon me. One I can't take credit for. I was happy where I was.......but that happened to be in SW Ft Worth, while I live in Kennedale. It was about a 20 minute drive every Sunday........which isn't much but it was adding up. Our friends were all in there and we were here. The older Owen got the more I wanted to be close to home. When I took a new job teaching HS in Mansfield, I somehow noticed the big Methodist church on the corner. God was saying there. Loud and clear but I managed to talk him into waiting for a few more months until I at least made friends in one plac…

coming home

It has been over 9 nights since I have slept in my own bed..........and at least one more to come.
I type this from a hotel room just down the road from my own house. For all of last week we were in Colorado......but our homecoming wasn't exactly welcoming. Within minutes of entering the house we were covered with fleas. Fleas who used our week long absense and warm temperatures to breed like crazy. The place still smelled of the chemicals my kind friends used to try and bomb the place while I was gone. So we hosed off and made reservations. The exterminator comes today and hopefully soon I will get my own bed back.
Any trip longer than 3-4 days makes me long for home. I want the comforts of my own house. Lately I have been sharing a lot of space. In CO we stay in a lodge...with other families. Meaning we have our own room, but share all the common spaces like restrooms, dining, and even the back porch. In some ways I like the community. It makes me think of others and p…

Three and Thirty

Yesterday O turned 3. Actually it was our 3rd celebration. First one was 2 weeks early at the lake with my family. The next was my typical over the top birthday party I threw on Friday for him ( one day before we left town). And yesterday's was in the mountains. We are staying in a lodge at a private ranch and most meals are served family style. I knew there was a cake coming and Owen was pumped. He practiced holding up all fingers and and kept saying happy birthday cake all day. Dinner was over and time for dessert. I was expecting the first cake. The one with 3 candles and a toy car on it, but not the second one that was placed in front of me. Luckily they did not try to fit 30 candles on it.
30 is supposed to be this monumental birthday. I don't picture myself as 30. Well expcet when I look in the mirror and see wrinkles by my eyes. I found a grey hair about a month ago. A long silver one. Plenty of my friends have these tell tale signs........but they still come as a bit of…

struggling to breathe

I am in Stonewall Colorado. Elevation 8000 ft. There is a lot less air up here and it takes me a day for the throbbing headache to go away. My son is in worse shape and spends the entire first night coughing. As in every minute from 2:00 am to atleast 5:00 am. We do the usual which is to pump him full of asthma meds and hope it gets better.
Breathing is an issue in our family. Mainly O. 4 trips to the ER in about the last year have made us pretty aware. He has 2 types of inhalers ( an emergency one and a preventative daily steroid) and a crazy one-way valve to help the medicine get to the right place. (Most of which we forgot to pack....but that is a different blog entirely).
Breathing is funny. It is involuntary, like our heartbeat or nerves. We don't have to think about it or will it...........like most of your muscles. Your lungs just go in and out on there own. 10-18 times a minute while resting. Unlike your heart, you can control it. Temporarily at least. You can …

The end

Today was the last day of school. Well at least for the kids. This finality is always one of my favorite parts of my job. In May ( or June) you are done. 100% finished. Grades are exported, pictures are taken off of shelves books are turned in. Everyone goes their own seperate way for at least a few months. When we do come back we will all be starting fresh. How many other times in life do we get to be completely finished and start new after a nice long break?

The end always manages to sneak up on me. Sure my beakers are washed and my filing cabinet partially cleaned out........but I mean with the kids. They sit there and I realize about 5 minutes before the bell that this is it. Sure I am ready to be rid of them, but still get a bit sappy. Our year together is over. Most of them will never sit in my desks again. They are young and bright and some will do amazing things. Some will do really stupid things. And some will do both. I want to say more. To do more. To give th…