Holy Thursday: Just me

This morning I left my house at 6:11.
About 20 minutes earlier than usual ( ridiculous time to go to work I know, but that is a topic for another blog post).
And I pulled into my church parking lot.
An almost empty church parking lot.
I read in my church bulletin last week that they chapel would be open from 6-8 am for anyone who wanted to take communion on this Holy Thursday.
I love the act of communion and have been getting up early every day this week to observe Holy Week. And so I thought that this morning instead of sitting on my couch reading and quiet that maybe I should go to the chapel instead.

But after I pulled in, I immediately thought about turning around and getting a coffee instead.
I was a little uncomfortable about the idea of showing up at church at 6:27 am.
And I didn’t know what to expect.
If this would be weird.
If I was supposed to say anything or do anything special that I didn’t know about.
And I worried about who would be there.
If there would be a lot of people, businessmen off to work, or those really religious types doing some serious prayer or a bunch of old ladies who couldn’t sleep. Or if I even had the right day. I could still just go to Starbucks.
I had to keep telling myself to get over the awkward and just to go in.

And so I walked into the chapel.
Which was totally empty except for a minister in a robe reading in the front pew.
She welcomed me and told me to kneel at the altar.
Just me.
And she read aloud this passage from Luke 22:7-20.
For just me.
And she offered me the body and the blood.
Shed for me.
And in this moment it was just me.
And the realization of what Christ did for me in particular.
Not a church filled with people.
Or believers all over the wold.
But just me.
Shook me in my soul.

And I lingered at the altar a bit. And the pastor returned to her pew and reading. And I walked out to my car and wept for what Christ did for me.
Just me.
And you too.
Just you.

(for more readings on today: John 14-16:33, Matthew 26: 36-46)


Anonymous said...


would you mind if I shared some of this at the beginning of our service tonight? As always, wonderful words you've shared!

spaghettipie said...

oh man. tearing up at this one. i could blame it on the last days of pregnancy, but that wouldn't be true. it's really the truth of what you wrote. beautiful truth.

Robin said...

I LOVE this, brought me to tears. :)

mommaof3 said...

Wow, you are gifted. And you are sharing the blessing with all of us. Thank you.

I will make a much bigger effort to go to church tomorrow than I previously thought about....

Veronica Lee said...

Hi! Stopping by from MBC. Love your blog.

Have a blessed Easter weekend!

Anne said...

Excellent! Thanks so much. A great picture of connection to God's amazing feat for me, for you, for everyone.

I can't wait to get to Church tonight to soak it all up...


samskat said...

that gave me chills. and encouraged me to go to church tonight. just me, since chad's at work. thanks, friend.

Greg and Brandi said...

Great stuff Michelle, I love the blog. Brandi (Shack's student teacher last year).