Skip to main content

showing off

I hit the 6 month mark a few weeks ago and almost none of my old clothes fit anymore. I have moved past the fat stage to the true baby belly stage. Tess herself has moved past cute little jabs and kicks in my abdomen to all out acrobatics resulting in back pain, shortness of breath, major heartburn ....just for starters. The sad thing is I know I am going to get much bigger and much more uncomfortable in the next 3 and a half months.
I would like to pretend that this belly doesn't slow me down. But it does. I would also like to pretend that it isn't affecting some of my friendships. But it is.
You see, it seemed I got pregnant this time just by thinking about it. I have several friends and aquatiences where that is not the case. They have spent thousands of dollars, long hours in a waiting rooms, and had some pretty humiliating office visits all to end up in the same disappointed place each month.
If you subscribe to any parenting magazines or websites you willl notice an article every few months or so about how to act or what to say to your friends who don't have (and don't want) kids yet and even some about how to treat a friend who had a miscarriage. Even a few on adoption. These topics get plenty of press and most people are sensative to those topics ( even though plenty of people still manage to say really dumb things). I have yet to see one article on how to act around your friends going through infertility, while your belly is bulging.
Don't get me wrong there are thousands of websites devoted to infertility and most of them are enough to make a girl crazy.............but girls like me don't go to those websites. And as shocked and thrilled as I was to see those 2 little pink lines I was also a little stunned and sad for my friends who have been trying so much longer.
We try to be helpful by asking questions, about treatments, about random studies or remedies we have heard about. But trust me these girls know. They are far more well-read than you are on the subject. So we ask about other options........but other options don't exaclty cut it when you want a baby. It is like promising a teenager a new car, and then offering them a bicycle.
I wish I had something more to offer about what to say or do. I am sure I have made my share of mistakes here............but my advice is to remember that your body may have been taken over but make sure your conversations aren't. It is ok to occasionally bring up dr's visits, paint colors and names, but find other things to talk about too. Movies, coffee, etc. Don't complain about how uncomfortable you are or how fat you feel. It is like eating a BigMac in front of a starving person and complaining about the way it tastes. Spend hours talking about stretch marks or breast feeding with someone else.
On the flip side, don't feel bad or guilty about your joy. Revel in it and cherish it and use it to help you forget about the heartburn.

Comments

Alyssa said…
I'm so glad you wrote down your thoughts on this issue and hope you'll get the opportunity to expand it into a published article at some point.

Popular posts from this blog

multiple choice

As I write I am procturing a test ( yes on a Saturday, and no I am not getting paid for it.) The room is silent. The only noises I hear are pencils scratching on papers and pages turning. If I listen closely enough I swear I can hear their brains turning. I have always been a good test-taker. I would still regularly brag about my SAT scores if it wre socially appropriate to do so(or an actual indicator of anything meaningful). There is something comforting about multiple choice. (well as long as you don't have the crappy all of the above or none of the above choices...just the classic A, B, C, D variety). There are parameters. Multiple choice means you have options. The right answer is right in front of you, and all you have to do is find it. Even if you don't actually know which one the right answer is there are usually clues, it can be narrowed down or worked backwards. Even a blind guess is likely to be right 25% of the time. These aren't bad odds. All you have t...

Turning the question

My school has been sending me to some inquiry training. The “i” word has been thrown around since my education classes in college. It is one of those things that is really good as a concept but kind of hard to pull off in the classroom well. For lots of reasons. But the big one number is because teachers are reluctant to let go of the control. To let the kids loose with a concept and see where they end up. Let them discover, own it and share out all on their own. Without intervening. Then push them a little bit further and clear up any misconceptions that they are holding onto before they slip out your door. This is supposed to be the most meaningful way for a kid to learn. For them to discover rather than memorize. One of the other problems with inquiry and science is that kids have stopped learning how to ask questions. My son bombards me with whys all day long. Why are owls nocturnal? (which comes out a lot more like “not-turtles”) Why do I have to take a shower? Why ...

pursue something else.

Americans like the idea of happy. of pursuing happiness. It is even one of our inalienable rights at least according to the Declaration of Independance. But I think maybe we should pursue something else. like love or joy or peace or contentment. and leave happy alone. Don't read me wrong. I am neither bitter nor cynical. Even my problems are good problems. I am positive. Half full. And most days I laugh a whole lot more than I cry. And simple things like a dance party in the living room, an hour alone in Barnes and Noble, the yellow pajama pants my son picked out for me for mother's day, potstickers, clean sheets, someone surprising me with coffee, jeans fresh from the dryer, a good song on the radio, or squeals of delight when I walk in the door all make my heart sing. They make me happy. For a minute. But when the squealing turns to screaming, my new pants are dirty, the sheets are in a jumble on the floor or the coffee runs out....where does that leave me? And happy isn'...