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coming home

It has been over 9 nights since I have slept in my own bed..........and at least one more to come.
I type this from a hotel room just down the road from my own house. For all of last week we were in Colorado......but our homecoming wasn't exactly welcoming. Within minutes of entering the house we were covered with fleas. Fleas who used our week long absense and warm temperatures to breed like crazy. The place still smelled of the chemicals my kind friends used to try and bomb the place while I was gone. So we hosed off and made reservations. The exterminator comes today and hopefully soon I will get my own bed back.
Any trip longer than 3-4 days makes me long for home. I want the comforts of my own house. Lately I have been sharing a lot of space. In CO we stay in a lodge...with other families. Meaning we have our own room, but share all the common spaces like restrooms, dining, and even the back porch. In some ways I like the community. It makes me think of others and pick up after myself and keep the noise level down, ........but I never quite get comfortable and a nap is hard to come by.
I am anxious and drive too fast on the way home. It is quiet without O in the car ( we left him w/ Gram and Grumps for an extra week) but can't wait to park myself on the couch. Catch up on Tivo, read, blog, clean and sleep in.
Instead I find myself at the local Holiday Inn. I had a few friends offer to let me stay with them ( and tonight I will be accepting that offer).......but I needed some space for a few nights. The hotel is new. The towels are fluffy. There were plenty of extra pillows in the closet and the bed not too hard or too soft. But I still am not quite comfortable. In the middle of night doors shut. Voices are too loud in the hallway or a car pulls in and shines it's headlights right through my window. I was still hopeing to sleep in....but the bustle of housekeeping is a bit too much and I finally get up and wonder down the hall for my free breakfast.
Back in my room I still somehow feel rushed. Check out isn't until noon, but I feel like I should be packing up and loading everything back in the car even though I have no where to go. I have been back in town for a few days now and am still living out of a suitcase. I have bad cell reception and still don't quite feel like I am back into my life yet.
Me friends feel far away, even though they are still in town. Mainly I am just not home yet.

And when you think about it. None of us are really.

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