Skip to main content

wasting time...follow up to week 5

(Week5)

Let me be up front that I am a cheater.
This should be obvious to that noticed that I didn’t post anything yesterday.
A girl using her time wisely shouldn’t miss her weekly Sunday post.
…..but I had an exceptionally busy weekend.
And I am a complete cheater.
I checked my facebook and google reader almost everyday.
Even on my so called days off.

But maybe I spend a few minutes rather than the better part of an hour there.
I was amazed at how hard it was to not come home and plop myself down in front of the computer.

My kids watched less cartoons.
I graded more papers.
We danced in the living room.
I cooked dinner. Real dinner, vegetable included.

Overall. I got more stuff done.
And my son didn’t have to say,
“Mommy, I’m talking to you! Pay attention!”

And yes, I was available to help a few people out.
I didn’t do anything spectacular.
I delivered a meal and I babysat for someone on Owen’s soccer team.
Neither of which I wanted to do.
Or were for a good friend that I was happy to serve.

But I couldn’t help but think that
That was exactly what this time had been carved out for.

The babysitting gig was especially tough.
I mean the kid was nice enough.
Owen loved having a friend over.
and the parent thankful.
but it kept me up a few hours past my bed time.

So as this kid up polished off the nilla wafers, downed the last of our milk and told me for at least the dozenth time that he wasn’t going to sleep I tried to remember that this wasn’t “my time”, but time I had gladly given away.
I was annoyed. I was tired. I really just wanted to go to bed.
I kept waiting for the warm-fuzzy-happy-I-am-doing-a-good-deed feeling to come over me.
Instead I just kept getting more tired and impatient.
I was also a little disappointed.
Why hadn’t God used me to do something really cool?
Rather than just babysit and pick up dinner for some people I barely knew.

Well because then it would have been about me.

And well. Serving isn’t supposed to warm and fuzzy and happy.
It is mostly just supposed to be work.
Although the fuzzy warm stuff is an occasional side effect.
Giving is meant to be about the giving.
Not what I hope to receive or learn or get recognition for.

(and stay tuned…..week 6 is coming. Tomorrowish.)

Comments

Beth (and Eric) said…
God has used you to do really cool things! Are you calling me a dork?! ;)
November 9, 2009 at 5:08 PM
Alyssa said…
You get props from me for your honesty and for being yourself. Your obedience was a blessing whether you felt it or not.
November 9, 2009 at 6:18 PM
michelle said…
beth...you were on a Thursday...my time :) not the MWF bit......and you were fun.

and thanks for the encouragement Alyssa
November 9, 2009 at 6:52 PM
Unknown said…
Even in the day to day things (the hum drum stuff) I think God is using you in a really cool way!
November 9, 2009 at 7:08 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

multiple choice

As I write I am procturing a test ( yes on a Saturday, and no I am not getting paid for it.) The room is silent. The only noises I hear are pencils scratching on papers and pages turning. If I listen closely enough I swear I can hear their brains turning. I have always been a good test-taker. I would still regularly brag about my SAT scores if it wre socially appropriate to do so(or an actual indicator of anything meaningful). There is something comforting about multiple choice. (well as long as you don't have the crappy all of the above or none of the above choices...just the classic A, B, C, D variety). There are parameters. Multiple choice means you have options. The right answer is right in front of you, and all you have to do is find it. Even if you don't actually know which one the right answer is there are usually clues, it can be narrowed down or worked backwards. Even a blind guess is likely to be right 25% of the time. These aren't bad odds. All you have t...
Post a Comment
Read more

Turning the question

My school has been sending me to some inquiry training. The “i” word has been thrown around since my education classes in college. It is one of those things that is really good as a concept but kind of hard to pull off in the classroom well. For lots of reasons. But the big one number is because teachers are reluctant to let go of the control. To let the kids loose with a concept and see where they end up. Let them discover, own it and share out all on their own. Without intervening. Then push them a little bit further and clear up any misconceptions that they are holding onto before they slip out your door. This is supposed to be the most meaningful way for a kid to learn. For them to discover rather than memorize. One of the other problems with inquiry and science is that kids have stopped learning how to ask questions. My son bombards me with whys all day long. Why are owls nocturnal? (which comes out a lot more like “not-turtles”) Why do I have to take a shower? Why ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Meet the teacher

People keep asking me how I am or if I am going to cry. And few weeks ago, I kept saying no. I mean, I am used to dropping Owen off everyday at school. Or I’m at least used to Shaun dropping him off. I am used to school. I do it everyday. But. The first day is Monday. His and mine. And I am not ready. And I don’t just mean that my syllabus isn’t copied and that there are boxes all over my room. That would be true. But I am having doubts about my kid entering this world. The kind with lockers and buliten boards and hall passes. And tests. A world where from now on, he will be receiving a grade. Where he will be compared, judged, scolded, and ranked. We met his teacher the other night. Turns out I taught her son not too many years ago. Owen was off playing within seconds with a friend from his soccer team. Tearing the room apart. Ecstatic when he saw a big tub of legos. He will be just fine. But I wasn't so sure about me. I was suddenly filled with questions. The basic ones. Like how...
7 comments
Read more