raw

When I was in college I tried snow boarding.
Us girls thought the snowboarding pants and boots were much cuter than the ski ones.
My snowboarding experience only made it halfway up the bunny hill.
I fell and my knee made a funny noise and felt all loose inside.
I tore my MCL before ever even getting on a lift.
So much for those cute boots.

I opted out of surgery and only had to wear a big bulky expensive brace for a few months. Ok, I think I was actually supposed to wear it for a few months which I translated into a few weeks.
But despite not following the doctors orders it healed up ok.
Mostly.
When it gets cold or I run too much or I play a particuarly aggresive soccer game...it creaks and cracks and hurts. Then I'll favor the other leg for a while until it doesn't hurt anymore.

Today, while driving in my car to meet a friend...
I remembered something.
which made me remember something else.
which made me remember something else.
and then I hit a raw spot.
not eddie murphy raw.
more of the exposed and oozing variety.

It caught me off guard and frustrated me.
I thought that this raw spot was something I was over and done with.
Something that I had moved past.
That I was fixed.
or healed from.

And most days I am.
If by healed you mean not something I think about.

But today.
on I-20.
I was oozing all over the place.

There was no crying or breakdowns or anything like that.
Just an old aching wound.
Reminding me that it is still there.
Reminding me that we are all a little bit broken.
and that if you look closely...
you will see that everyone is walking around with a bit of a limp.

4 comments:

Beth (and Eric) said...

So true. You should charge me for Therapy! ;)

Sarah said...

Damn.

Brickmomma said...

totally heard a sermon on that tonight! He called them memory scars. Sometimes those memories cause us to sin. Or doubt our forgivenes. It is just satan whispering lies in our ear. There are earthly consequences yes, but there is also forgiveness and we are washed clean as snow. How easy we forget.....

Katie Delp said...

Why did we think snowboarding pants were cute? That was a stupid idea for all of us... I like what you wrote, and I how how those raw places can creep up when we least expect them. I know they can catch me off guard at times. Thanks for sharing.