stealing the covers

Tess has a urinary tract infection and has been crabby and clingy for the last few days (with good reason). So, last night as I attempted to put her to bed.....I didn't quite have the heart (or the energy) to let her cry it out. Reluctantly, (after a few unsuccessful tries in her own crib), I tucked her in between me and Shaun and went to sleep.
I actually intended to put her back in her own bed after she was sleeping, but that would require getting out of my snuggly bed. 5:30 am: Owen comes creeped in and attempted to stake out a claim on my mattress. 5:30 may be wake up time during the week, but this was Sunday....and we did not have anywhere to be for awhile. I was desperate for a few more hours of sleep and told him he could stay at the foot of the bed. A few minutes later, after jockeying for position and covers, the dog leaped up on to the bad to claim her acerage as well.
In frustration, I picked up and headed to the couch.

I do like my babies in the bed with me. Especially before bed reading stories or Saturday mornings giggling and watching cartoons. I have even been known to start a pillow fight or two. There is something perfect about that time, my bed filled with all the people I love in one big jumble of sheets and elbows.
However, I do not love trying to sleep like this.
Owen talks in his sleep, steals covers and scoots closer and closer until there is only a tiny portion of my side of the bed left. Tess is restless and prefers to sleep horizonatlly with her feet in my face. It is far too crowded and almost impossible to get good rest like this.

My life is often like that crazy crowded bed. Every inch of space (or time) is covered with somewhere I am supposed to be or something I am supposed to to. At times this feels good. I like being busy, and seeing people and doing "important" things. But there is very little space left over and it is almost impossible to rest. I start and end my day tired. Although most of the things on the list seem to still get done and I keep most of my committments I catch myself getting there late or leaving early or doing them only halfway.

So about six weeks ago, I intently started carving out a bit more space to rest. I have cleared the calendar for at least one day of the week (Sunday). I have made a few rules, but do not stress about actually keeping them. At first it seemed intensely selfish. And maybe it is. But I think it is begining to bear some fruit. That time, that I am NOT doing housework or schoolwork is spent playing on the floor, reading books (the kind with pictures to my kids and the kind without for me), snuggling on the couch with Shaun, writing, running, and napping.

So on Sundays I rest. Even if the bed is crowded, my day isn't. And there is room to stretch out and breathe.


spaghettipie said...

Love the analogy! Sorry I missed out on coffee today, but let's get together soon. Feels like it's been ages...