coming soon....2 lines

2 lines, as in the positive result of a pregnancy test. As in the stick I peed on on Friday. I plan on putting all my pregnancy blogs there for those of you who don't want to read about the "joys" of mother-to-be hood all time.
But since my brain isn't fully functioning I am afraid of forgetting if I don't get started now. For the last 2 days I have been thinking...I want to remember to blog about that, and that, and so on....and now I can't remember hardly any of it. So consider this a sneak preview and I'll get the new site up and running as soon as I enlist some help.

I guess I should start at the begining. No, not that begining. The one where I am standing in line at CVS clutching my one item a bit embarressedly. I am even embarrassed that I am embarrassed. I am married. I have one kid already. Why does buying a pregnancy test still make my cheeks burn. I made the mistake of going to the closest CVS to school and am hoping not to see any students in the place. I considered geting one of those little handcarts and filling it with useless items to distract everyone from the one thing I came here to buy......but payday is still a few days a way and I am hesitant to even spend the 12$ on the test. It is a waste of 12 $ I think. I don't feel pregnant. Sure I felt like puking at the assembly yesterday but that was beacuse I made a rare trip to the gym the night before and then forgot to eat breakfast. One wataburger taquito cured me of my queasiness. But then my period still hasn't come. Well not exactly. This was the first official month me and Shaun were trying. And when I say trying I mean not using birth control. With O we actively tried and it took about 4 months. This month we barely saw each other. I don't even remember being in the same room long enough to make a baby. My parents were coming in town and I wanted to put these creepy suspisions out of my head and enjoy a big fat glass of wine at whatever expensive dinner they treated me to.
Back to me waiting in line at CVS....the coast is clear...no students or parents in sight....that is until I see the check out guy. An ex-student. I look around at the photo counter hoping someone there can check me out.......but I swear this guy is apparently the only person working in the store. I breifly consider leaving, but decide that the humiliation of buying a pregnancy test from a student is not as bad as facing the hell that is WalMart next door. Who knows, maybe he won't remember me......and I don't teach at that school any more anyways. Just as I am convincing myself that it is ok, I big bellowing "Mrs. Hurst" comes out from behind the counter. I can't remember this kid's name and am thankful for name tags. I make uncomfortable small talk as he checks me out and even state how awkward this is. He rings me up, bags my product and keeps talking! Trying to make a getaway... I tell him not to start any rumers. He looks confused and then finally realizes what he sold me ....and starts screaming "are you pregnant" in that same booming voice for the other 6 people waiting behind me in line to hear. I explain that I don't know and that is why I am buying the test.......while wondering if he would actually buy the "it's for a friend" line.
So I get home. No rush. I have no expectations other than to confirm what I already think that I have one more month of coffee, booze and being friends w/ Wendy. I finally pee on my stick and set it aside. I don't even stare at it and wait for it to change. A few minutes later I pop back in the bathroom to throw it away and see two lines, two big bold lines, screaming back at me.

3 comments:

"Bluebonnet in the snow" said...

I'm so glad you are starting this blog. This is funny stuff!

Kate said...

Congrats! I'm so excited for you! I think after the first it is VERY easy to get pregnant. I got pregnant with Jax our first month of trying. Don't envy you the sleepless nights though! I'm swamped with 2 right now!
Lots of HUGS!!!!!
Kate :)

TJ Wilson said...

Michelle - CONGRATULATIONS! wow, those two lines say a lot. Ditto BITS, you keep me laughing. Signing off now for fear of engaging in small talk...