room to breathe

My front flowerbeds are the worst on the street. They are full of weeds. Occasionally I get motivated and take a crack at them. I pull and tug and itch and scratch and promise to keep up with them better. Before I know it, and much to my neighbors-who-like-to-spend-hours-and-hours-on-exterior-home-maintenance chagrin, they are overgrown again. This is a metaphor for my life. My calendar gets overwhelmed and I cut here and there ( usually by getting sick or burned out) and swear to weed a few things out. Just like my flowerbeds I usually fail. I like busy. Well not the busy, tired, driving from one place to another part, the leaving one thing early and getting to another late, getting home after owen goes to bed, picking up something to eat in the drive through bit. I like the people and the coffee and the fellowship and getting to hear everyone's stories part.

Lately I have gotten good at weeding things out (with the exception of my flowerbeds). Early in the summer, I had 2 soccer teams, 2 mom's groups, a weekly small group, a book club, a writer's group and a women's bible study. I was busy and tired and missed my family. I have a new job with less titles and more pay. I have cut over half of the other stuff out too. Some of that was my decision, but to be honest most of it wasn't. I am now down to 1 soccer team, a book club and a writers group. That's it. I am home more often than not. Notice the lack of churchy things. Those cleared themselves out. I didn't chose them. There is a little bit of guilt attached to it, but I am finding just as much growth in my respite. Maybe God has given me this season to breathe and find him in my living room rather than everyone elses.