So we have decided ( more like he decided) to move Owen up to a real bed. So after a trip to Ikea and Target … Tuesday he snuggled in for a night’s sleep sans bars. At 4:30 a.m. I hear little tiny feet padding down the hall. I know what I should do. This is the beginning of the education process and I should take him immediately back to his bed, snuggle with him for a second and leave him on his own. However, like I mentioned, it is 4:30 am. The good parenting can start tomorrow. So I quickly scoop him up and place him in between me and Shaun. Within seconds his breathing relaxes and he goes back to sleep. I realize I really need to pee, and I might as well take him back to bed while I am up. At 6:17 am, a little crash and lots of crying. Owen fell off his big boy bed onto his legos below. Stepping on legos hurts like hell I can’t imagine falling onto them from a early morning stupor. Shaun, who should be getting up for work soon anyways goes off to rescue him. Still screaming, Owen once again is snuggled up next to me. It only takes a moment to calm him down and he is thankfully back to sleep. My mattress must have magic properties. Once Owen hits my mattress his breathing slows and you can just see his body relax. I know it is not the mattress so much as the proximity. His parents are right beside him. He immediately feels safe and loved and lulled to sleep by my snoring. I get that. I am almost 30 and I still desire that feeling. I remember being little and trying to sneak into my parents bed. When I was really desperate I would even lay on the floor beside them. We were never the warm or cuddly type, but I wasn’t scared if they were in the room. Knowing someone is there, right there is assuring. All the thoughts running though your head are quiet. I can’t help but compare this to our Father. Why aren’t we soothed so easily? If it is just a proximity thing all we must do is draw closer. Swallow some of that pride that says a grown up is too big to be scared or ask for help or crawl into their daddy’s bed. My son is not afraid to seek comfort, to snuggle, or to be afraid. Now someday soon I hope he gets used to his bed and can make it through the night without falling off or waking me up……but for now I’ll take my snuggles when I can.
As I write I am procturing a test ( yes on a Saturday, and no I am not getting paid for it.) The room is silent. The only noises I hear are pencils scratching on papers and pages turning. If I listen closely enough I swear I can hear their brains turning. I have always been a good test-taker. I would still regularly brag about my SAT scores if it wre socially appropriate to do so(or an actual indicator of anything meaningful). There is something comforting about multiple choice. (well as long as you don't have the crappy all of the above or none of the above choices...just the classic A, B, C, D variety). There are parameters. Multiple choice means you have options. The right answer is right in front of you, and all you have to do is find it. Even if you don't actually know which one the right answer is there are usually clues, it can be narrowed down or worked backwards. Even a blind guess is likely to be right 25% of the time. These aren't bad odds. All you have t...
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