idontbelieveingrammar

1. that the cop who was banging my door down at 1 am only wanted to tell me that my garage door was open and not that someone was dead. ( really, that couldn't have waited until morning, or i'd almost rather have the lawn mower stolen than the the pants scared off me in the middle of the night). 2. that Tess went back to sleep after her early wake up session until 8:30! 3. that i got my fat ass to the gym and loved it. 4. mexican food for lunch with a friend. (so much for the gym) 5. saving a cute little bird from the pool parking lot. ok, really wendy did the saving.......but she did use my hat to hold it in so i should get some good deed points out of it. 6. really it was Shaun's hat, and he doesn't know, which will really make me smile. 7. iced green tea with one splenda. 8. a swim lesson w/out any melt downs. 9. almost 15 minutes that both children were asleep at the same time in the afternoon. 10. an afternoon high that was less than 3 digits. 11. mexican food for ...

home has been a lot places. 2703 Pinehurst but sometimes it felt like it in my friends' homes as well. their homes were often smaller or their parents weren't married. but it was welcoming all the same. home was in a bunk bed on the Guadalupe river. home was in the sun room. and then i met shaun. and home was always with him. even when i wasn't sure exactly what i wanted and still wanted to be more wild than grown up. i knew he was home. lately we have done a lot of traveling. i have missed my bed but most of all i have missed that feeling. the one you get on your couch in your pajamas. or the cool slip of grass between my toes in the yard. the comfortable exhale. watching my son catch a fish in the mountains or drive paw-paw's boat is fun and makes me smile, but not quite as much as watching him run through the neighbor's sprinklers. or the heavy weight of him when i carry him to his bed. or when the dog settles at my feet as i try to sing (badly) little Tess to sl...

the good moms bake cookies and mac n cheese from scratch. they always remember to brush their kids teeth, they rarely drive through, they monitor cartoon time (rather than use it to squeeze in a nap or check facebook), they think their new minivans are cool and most importantly they get really excited about things like volunteering at vacation bible school. i on the other hand dread it. it is a misnomer really. their is no vacation about it. this mom is none of the above and even doesn't answer her phone when she thinks that the church is calling to ask for volunteers for the 3 year old sunday school class. i have nothing against volunteering. really i am all for it. it is just that I'd much rather sort clothes for the mission center, or make food for the homeless, or hey even get a filling than "teach" a roomful of little kids. little kids scare me. i am not good at that fake happy everything is exciting voice. i can barely discipline my own kids, much less a dozen o...

Tonight a woman approached me in the Wal-Mart parking lot. She looked kind of like my mother. As Shaun returned the cart, and I tried to buckle one of my children in, she asked me for money. She explained that she had to leave her husband and was living in her van, but was having engine trouble. I checked my pockets and came up empty handed. I found a few small bills in the console and handed them to her. She thanked me for sharing. She also said “God bless you”. Almost every time I have given someone money, or bought them gas or groceries or food. They have that response. “God bless you” It is like they are in on some secret that the rest of us don’t always get. Maybe she was lying. Maybe she was going to buy drugs. But she looked so broken. I hated that I only had a few bucks to give her. I saw her move along to the next person quietly telling her story and humbly asking for help. I knew I should have done more. Driven her to some shelter. Taken her inside and bought her somethin...

for the last 8 days I was in some far corner of the world. well, not exactly. just a few states over. but it felt like it. I was in a lodge in the mountains with very very slow internet, no cell phone reception and a single tv down in the basement no one bothers with. ditto for the super slow internet. instead there were mountains and flowers and trails. the air i swear was different. better. sweeter. easier to breathe. i have been home now for over 24 hours. and home is good. i was happy to walk in my door, smell our smell, set my bags down and sleep in my own bed. there are the tasks from being home that i dread. like laundry and bills and dishes all piled up. however, i was also slow to charge my cell phone, check my emails all hundred+ of them and start returning phone calls. even checking the tivo seemed daunting. it isn't like i have to go to work in the morning, but i am still resisting this return to normal. i tried to explain this to a friend today ( mainly why i was sucki...

Two nights ago I was sitting around a campfire in Colorado. There were marshmellows, a bear, a stary sky, guitars and even a harmonica. There is something magical about a campfire that makes you put up with all the smoke and want to sing. The crowd was mostly older and the guitarists mostly stuck to things like the Eagles and House of the Rising Sun. But then Owen chimed in. If you read my blog, you know what comes next. "Brass monkey, that funky monkey" The wrangler about choked on his smore.

Keeping two kids occupied all day is a bit of a challenge. We have hit the zoo, had a water balloon fight, gone swimming, played outside, played in the neighbor's bouncehouse, gone to soccer camp, had wiggle car races and played outside again. Today, I thought I'd mix it us a bit and do some arts and crafts. O decided to be Earth friendly and just use his sister as his canvas. Good thing purple looks good on her.