idontbelieveingrammar

  In some gross moment of oversharing my parents once pointed out some beach hotel where I was conceived. My husband and his family are mountain people. They can fish and sit on the back porch for weeks and not ever want to go anywhere. And I just spent a week in the mountains. I like them. I like the way the air tastes cleaner. I like the mountain views and the fact that it isn’t 110 degrees like it is at home and that you can see a billion stars. But, there are only so many books I can read on the back porch before I get ancy. And want to drive or climb or find a town or an Americano. But this week we are at the beach. And as soon as we crossed that long bridge, I breathed in the thick salty air as deeply as I could. It isn’t like the mountains. It is loud. The waves and the city. The air is thick and sweaty. And I’m up 24 floors reading on the balcony rather than the backporch. And there is no doubt that I come from the water. This morning me and my sneaks hit the sand a littl...

I'm on summer vacation. And apparently a blog vacation as well. So, since I haven't been putting much out here....let me give you some great sights to help you waste time. I mean if you aren't busy playing angry birds (like my husband, son, and mother in law), or tweeting ( I still don't write them...can't work w/in word limits or follow b/c my husband reads enough of them outloud to me), playing words with friends (I don't do that either because I think I'd have to join a 12 step program to stop), playing outside (you obviously don't live where i live where it is a bizillion degrees), or being productive (like cleaning or something...and if that is you. stop. you are just making the rest of us look bad), or even worse working (sorry, you don't get a summer like me, i'd tell you to consider a career change but i still need people to sell me frozen yogurt and let's face it...this is not the best time to think about teaching....and despite w...

Since my son just had a birthday, I figured it was time we teach him to drive. He just turned six. And I’m not even sure he will be able to reach the pedals in another ten years. And some of you might be thinking that six is too young to drive, but I was taking the wheel on my dad or brother’s lap at least by then. And you think all that extra practice would have made me a better driver….but that is another blog post. So this morning, I needed to run to the gas station and told him he could crawl on my lap and steer down the dirt road. Until we got to the highway. We can’t do these kinds of things in town and better take advantage of the opportunities when we can. He was hesitant. But sat on my lap and grabbed the wheel anyways. And then on the way back. And again on the next run with his dad. And dad gave him a little more command of the wheel than I did. I just kept telling him to watch the road and try to keep it straight, but we were swerving all over the place. On the g...

I go to a lot of graduations. One a year (or occasionally more) for the last dozen or so years. I don’t remember much of my high school graduation, except I sat next to someone I swear I had never seen before. And my friend Kenneth quoting the famous philosopher, Dennis Rodman. I remember wearing a cute black dress from the Gap, only because I think it might have been the last time I wore a size 6 in anything. I don’t remember what the valedictorian said, although she posts pretty clever and funny things on facebook these days so it was probably good. And for the last twelve years, I’ve heard a lot of the same quotes. A lot of cliché speeches. And remember none of them. But. Almost every year there is a moment. Where the audience gets quiet. When a student who has walked awkwardly with bulky arm braces into your room every day, sets his braces aside and walks without help across the stage. I’ve seen parents accept diplomas that their kids should have received. But didn’t get the c...

Six years and nineish months ago I peed on a stick in my friend Tina’s bathroom. And had a hard time comprehending just what those two little lines meant. How much was going to change. There was a lot I didn’t know. Like morning sickness sometimes lasts longer than the first trimester. That the not sleeping starts long before delivery. That deliveries rarely go as planned. That 8 lbs and 1 once is more than big enough to grow my heart in imeasureable ways. And the years are sneaking by. Six of them. Most of the time faster than I’d like. And five was a big year. Because not only did you learn to read and add and subtract but you learned how to build almost everything out of legos, how to tell time by something other than episodes of Diego, how it feels to score goals, how to put your own straw in your juicebox, that you better hide your candy or toys from your sister or be expected to share, how to do the running man and moon walk, that bad days don’t make for a bad kid...

I think I'm quoting Bilbo Baggins...but am not sure. my husband could probably verify that for me. In other words I'm too thin. I've never been skinny. Well. I've never felt skinny. I look back at pictures in high school and I was totally skinny. I just thought I was fat. Now, I think I'm skinny enough until the doctor wants to weigh me and WRITE IT DOWN, or I have to try on swimsuits and then I know the truth.....I'm not skinny. Not even a little bit. But most of the time I can ignore that and eat another cupcake. So, as unskinny as I might be....... I am undoubtably way too thin. And have been for years. Spread so thin that everything in my life is kind of like eating at Golden Corral. I can do lots of things. Some of them I'm even ok at. But almost none of them are very good. And When I keep going....I end up getting sick. And I've gone on diets. I've cut back. And cut activities. But they always find their way back in. Like I miss play...

In case you have ever wanted a sneak peak into the world of the last day of the year for teachers… It was not Friday. When the last of my kids took their finals and fished their books out of their cars or closets or lockers and begged to be taken off the fines list or for that last half a point. That day is bittersweet. So happy to be done, but my heart tugs a little when they leave. Today was really my last day. No kids. And every year it is the same drill. I’ve been in four different schools and each one of them gives out an end of the year checklist. That is really more like a scavenger hunt to find all the principals and secretaries and hunt down ridiculous things they gave us in August and now want back. Like our hall pass. And I assure you, I wouldn’t touch that restroom pass with a 10 foot pole….even if I knew where it was. So my day began with coffee and me losing and then finding my wallet. Which was it’s own kind of scavenger hunt. I had planned to get to school...

I am beat. Exhausted. Worn out. Only like the last week of school and throwing my kid a birthday party could do. And want nothing more than a nap. My son is playing with his new legos quietly in his room. But no way would I dare nap with my 2 year old on the rampage. Because even when I’m awake she has managed to color all over herself, the furniture and the floor with sharpies. Lock herself in her room. Swallow unidentified pills. And flood the bathroom. And destroy a room in 3 seconds flat. No telling what this girl could do if I closed my eyes for a half hour. And so I can’t wait, until she can play quietly in her room while I get some much needed shut eye. Or so I think. There are all kinds of milestones I think I can’t wait for. Like I couldn’t wait to be done buying diapers. I couldn’t wait for a full nights sleep (and most nights I still feel that way). I can’t wait to stop writing huge checks for childcare. Til my kids can work the DVD by themselves (ok, the...