idontbelieveingrammar

Confession. I get invited to a lot of little kid birthday parties. And I almost always go, present in hand.Because my kids love them. And I love my friends. And who doesn’t like cupcakes. But, parts of me despise these parties. Really. I’d rather go to WalMart with both kids than to a toddler birthday party on a Saturday. And today’s party wasn’t so bad. It was a close friends which meant I knew a lot of people there so I had plenty of people to talk to instead of having to pretend to text the whole time. I even raced one of them on the bounce house obstacle course and possibly threw out my back. The teenage worker was also prepared to lecture me for not wearing socks and taking out a small child on the way. But, normally little kid parties are full of all kinds of landmines… 1. Chuck E Cheese. --- I don’t think I need to say anything else about that. 2. Awkward small talk with moms I don’t know. This is my least favorite part. And I often volunteer to take pictures just t...

Back in late September I went to Portland. By myself. To a conference put on my Donald Miller. I was going to go to a writing/blogging conference in the Spring but instead put my money and limited days off into Portland. The conference was about creating a better story. The kind you live, not necessarily the kind you  write down. And I wrote about it. Kind of. I wrote about traveling alone . And someone I met there. But have yet to really tackle the content. Because to be honest, I never really did my homework. Just this week some friends asked me about it. Again. And I figured it was time. So last night,   I pulled out my binder and my notebook filled with 23 pages of notes and 5 blank reflective assignments. And am finally going to start processing a little. In my usual way. By typing it out. And to be honest I think people expected a little too much of me when I got home.   Or maybe I expected a little too much from being there. Actually I did try and write a...

"How is that hardly any major religion has looked at science and concluded, 'This is much better than we thoguht! The universe is much bigger than our prophets said, grander, more subtle, more elegant?' Instead they say,'No, no, no! My god is little god and I want him to stay that way.' A religion old or new, that stressed the magnificance of the Universe as revealed by modern science might be able to draw forth reserves of reverence and awe hardly tapped by the conventional faiths." The Big Blue Dot - Carl Sagan. I am teacher. I’ve brought that up plenty on here. But still usually people that don’t know me get confused. They assume that I am an English teacher. Which is laughable to me because I am not a good speller. Am queen of the fragment (see that was one) and use more than my share of be verbs ( a big writing no no).Turns out I teach science. I even have a Masters degree in it. And I have sat through all the classes where the biology professors beli...

My weekend has been less than stellar. Currently I am not a fan of my sinuses, snot in general, Sundays without naps, the fact that we don’t have any Kleenex in the house, the mess that is my living room, 2 year old temper tantrums, how cold it is outside and the fact that WalMart has less that ¼ of it’s lanes open at any given time. But since I just don’t want to whine – a few things that I do like about my weekend: the 9 hours of uninterrupted sleep I got last night thanks to some Nyquil and a really nice husband, the dance party I had with my kids instead of cleaning my bathroom, the soup I made for dinner last night……….and all these songs. and this girl isn't on grooveshark...but i love her too.

The prosperity gospel has always made me a little sick to my stomach. Not that I don’t like the idea that if I ask God for a Cadillac, or big screen TV or new wardrobe and keep asking and have enough faith. That God will deliver. Trust me, I like stuff. A lot. It is kind of a problem for me. And for most Americans. But. I don’t think God particularly wants to give me a big check or TV or new car just because I believed enough that he would. Because what happens when he doesn’t come through. What if the check doesn’t come. Or the test results are negative. Or when the phone rings in the middle of the night. Where does that leave my faith or my God. Is it big enough to still believe after that? And because I think there are plenty of people out there with way more faith than me. Living with way less. Praying really important prayers. That aren’t always answered the way we wish. And that it has absolutely NOTHING to do with faith. But mostly about a really big God whose timi...

I went to visit a good friend this weekend. When I walked into her town house, the Christmas tree was still up. The laundry piled on a chair in the basement where I was sleeping and toys scattered the floor. When I asked for a broom (as a prop, not for cleaning purposes), she told me she didn’t have one. To which her husband replied. Yes we do. Beside the fridge. It was just like my house. But neater. The other day I had some friends over unexpectedly and we had to make our way through dolls and toys and legos just to put our purses down. And I didn't even flinch. Because they know me. It wasn't the first time they have seen laundry baskets in my living room, dog hair in the corners and dirty dishes in the sink. They know my mess. And came in anyways. Most of my favorite friends don't require knocking, much less picking up first. Or makeup. Or even getting out of my pjs. Sometimes me and another friend send pictures back and forth to see whose house is messier. A...

A nudge. That I ignored. A small voice in my head that told me to find the teenage mom I had seen on the plane and buy her lunch. Instead I convinced myself she was fine. If she could buy a plane ticket. Surely she could buy lunch. So I ordered my green tea, found my book, plugged in my ipod and read until they could find us another plane. And I was totally wrong. After hours delayed, they finally let us reboard. And I kind of hate Southwest’s policy of choosing your own seats. Usually I look for a someone with a book out, so I know that I will be uninterrupted for the majority of my flight. I got a few rows back. And saw her again. The one I didn’t buy lunch. And thought, even though her baby screamed the whole way here, that I have a pretty high screaming tolerance. My kids have done their share. And that maybe I’d be a little more understanding than most. That maybe the kid would just take a nap this flight. Both of them. Instead I got a little more than I bargained for. Withi...

Right now my son and husband are on the floor matching socks. It just might take them all night. Earlier while I was on the treadmill at the gym, my daughter chunked a snowglobe, a big glass one, at her older brother. Thankfully she missed. We all ate our weight in queso at dinner (and yes we had more than just queso for dinner, but I’m counting salsa as a vegetable tonight). And I'm thinking that the queso and the treadmill kind of cancel each other out. I think Owen snuck some soap into the dishwasher tonight because just a few minutes after turning it on foam poured all over kitchen floor. It looked like something from I love Lucy. Shaun got frustrated because I laughed and wanted to take a picture rather than actually turn the thing off and try to clean it up. Tess is always in my makeup. Usually she just paints her face up ridiculously. Tonight she got my foundation and rubbed ALL of it into the carpet. Not long after the snow globe incident, Tess and her broth...

Some days my job is really hard. And it isn’t the days where I have a zillion papers to grade. Or where a student calls me a bitch. Or another tries to argue me out of points on a test. When they lose my restroom pass or their book. Again. When they break another test tube or steal my last pen. When they ask me to repeat what I just spent the last hour explaining because they were asleep. Or when the copy machine is broken or I forgot the quiz I stayed up late writing at home. Not when I have meeting after meeting or even mind numbing training that I will never use. Not even when I have angry parent phone messages that make me sweat. Or when I have a screaming headache and still need to teach the 150+ kids how to calculate specific heat. Not even when I have ridiculous paperwork to fill out, TAKS tests or hall duty. Not when half my class is falling asleep and I’m tempted to let them or even when APs pop in unannounced. Those days are easy compared to the few have had rece...

It has been a long week. my own kids sick, hard at school, broken car, washing machine and toilet. and of course some additional drama. And outside is even worse. Cold, rain, snow and overall yuck. Which means there is only one thing to do. Get on your jammies and dance it out in the living room.

That was the question posed on Jon Acuff’s blog about a week ago. And I thought about emailing him my answer. But wasn’t 100% sure what the answer was. I clearly remember sitting on my roommate’s squishy tan couch, almost exactly ten years ago, filling out job applications with my feet propped up on the coffee table while chewing on my pen. I was moving and getting married and needed a teaching job in my new town. I only applied for three districts. All of which I've worked in over the last decade. But one application ended with this question; “If you could do anything you wanted for a living what would it be?” Which sounds a lot like Jon’s question. And kind of caught me off guard. I mean I had a degree in science and education and already had a year under my belt. That is what I was applying for. And something I really liked and was even pretty passionate about. Why the heck are they asking me about my dreams? And I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to write. If ...

One time I did this bible study where they passed out a circle with about 8 wedges. Perfectly and evenly divided. And each represented some category of our life: faith, family, fun, fitness. Etc. I don’t think they all started with f, but they might as well have.  You had to start at the center of the circle and draw an arc for each wedge at where you were. The middle being a 0, the outer edge being ideal at 10.  I went around drawing in my arcs for each category and I was all over the board.  Some lines were near the edge, others closer to the center.  And then the kicker.  The speaker said that this represented a wheel. And then asked us how bumpy our ride was. And let’s just say my ride wouldn’t roll.  But that 10s in every category shouldn’t be the goal. That some areas need to be moved up a notch and others moved down and eventually everything will go smoothly. I loved this picture. Mainly because I was tired of feeling like I could never reach tho...

Last year I don’t think I made any formal resolutions at all. The year before we did it as a family. When I was in high school I wrote pages and pages of them every year. And this year I’m still a little unsure.. I mean, they are pretty much just a repeat of the last ten years. Lose weight, pray more, spend less money, budget my time better, don’t leave wet clothes in the washing machine for a week, listen more, parent better, actually plug in the vacuum. You get the idea. And they are always the same. Which makes me beg the question, what is the point? If I am resolving the same things every year. If I didn’t get it right in 2005, what makes me think that this will be my year. And don’t worry, I’ve never had to add don’t be so cynical to my list. But this year I am going to be a little more realistic. I have no expectations that in 2011 I am finally going to get it together. That I’m going to have clean baseboards and graded papers and fit back into my skinny jeans....