lines

I hate lines. Sometimes I will leave a store without what I want because the lines are too long. I will often go eat else where than wait the 20 minutes to be seated.
Patience is not one of my virtues. The thought of spending hours in line at six flags to ride a 30 second roller coaster is not even a little bit my idea of a fun afternoon. And just thinking about going to Walmart gives me a rash.

Even less than I like waiting in line, is making them. Drawing them.
I am not the best disciplinarian in my house. Or my classroom. And I do think discipline is good and necessary and usually out of love. However, I always struggle with my role in it. I struggle to be the one doling it out.

I live my life more in a continuum than on a particular side. I hate picking sides.

So yesterday. When everyone was posting away on facebook about chick fil a, I went to a zumba class (go ahead laugh, everyone in the same room did!) and ate leftovers for dinner.

And was relieved to wake up this morning where surely all this political stuff would over. Surely people are not going to wait in line for 2 hours for waffle fries and back up traffic. Again.  And surely I won't have to see picture after picture of delicious sandwiches when I am trying to count calories. I am so ready to just read more about the olympics and see pictures of people's thermometers in their car.

Political crisis averted. I can go back to not picking sides. Not stating my opinion and eating at whatever fast food establishment that I want.

 But I can’t.

 Something about yesterday doesn’t sit right with me. Kind of like when I eat lots of fried food.

 I read a book once ( Blue Like Jazz), where Christians set up a confessional booth right in the middle of their liberal college campus, and when people came into confess. The people running the booth confessed instead.

 In addition to all the posts I saw of people taking stands and supporting chick fil a, for their Christian values and freedom of speech, I also read posts form gay friends about how all this made them feel.  And what it spoke of the church the them. And I wanted to set up my own confession booth for any hurt that they might feel or have felt in the past. For the literally dozen friends that deleted them on facebook.

From their eyes, it was a big giant push away. Rather than an invation towards this Jesus that we were supposedly lining up for. I also read a little more on where their money and support actually goes to and it left me wondering if people standing in line had any idea.

Please don’t barrage me with comments about freedom of speech and values. Those things absolutely never need to be apologized for. Unless of course you are Natalie Maines, or want to build a mosque. (I am being sarcastic here if you can’t tell). But seriously, this whole post makes me so uncomfortable to type. I am not pretending to be more right than anyone else. I'm just trying to expose a different view.

I am glad to live in a country where we are free to choose. What we believe. How to spend our money. What to say. What to support and even where to buy our chicken sandwiches.  I am always impressed when I see people take tough stands for things they believe in. Because more than often I don't.

See this marriage thing doesn’t seem so black and white to me. People have been pressing me in the last weeks to make some kind of stand. To say which side of the line I am on.  And I have hesitated to do that. And it has hurt people that I love.
A lot of what we call Christian values, is really just Christian culture. Because in the bible I have read. More than once. Men have multiple wives, harems, women are promised after 7 years of labor and all kinds of other crazy stuff. And one of my favorite marriages in the bible is Hosea who married a prostitute. Not exactly the kind of thing you’d see at a Focus on the Family conference (but says so much about the redeeming and relentless love of our Father). And some of you might tell me, oh that is all OLD testament stuff. The new testament clearly talks about one man one woman. To which I’d reply. Sort of. It doesn't exactly use those words.

But it does say it is better not to marry.
And that God hates divorce.
It also says women should not speak in church.
And to keep our heads covered.
And to pluck our eyes out if they cause us to sin.
And multiple times not to judge.

 But it also speaks peace and hope to me. It encourages me to serve and seek justice.

And tells me to love.
Everyone no matter what side of the line they are standing on or in.

Which is why I think that, despite what I learned in youth group….the Bible is mostly meant to be a love story. Not an instruction book.

Freedom and context and culture are hard things to figure out.
A whole lot harder than ordering some nuggets.

And the things in the bible that I do think Jesus is really clear about....

My heart hurts that people don’t line up to support that. I posted something yesterday on facebook about needing help with an event at a homeless shelter. I got 2 suggestions, 0 likes and I struggled to find just a few donations.
I guess everyone was busy waiting in line.


(And this topic has been overdone in the blogoshpere.....and here are some links to some posts that made me think.)

from Jen Hatmaker: in the basement and the basement manifesto
from Rachel Held Evans: on both sides
from the Huffington Post: open letter and   it isn't what you think and Dixie chick appreciation day