idontbelieveingrammar

Earlier this week Tess lost another tooth. And there is something about gaps in my kid’s smile that tug at my heart.  A gap that will be filled with a tooth slightly too big for their five year old face. Adult teeth look so funny on a little kid and it takes years to grow into them. When I say Tess lost her tooth, I do not mean she wiggled it out and tucked it snugly beneath her pillow for the tooth fairy to trade out with a dollar bill. I mean she lost it at the bottom of the swimming pool.  She was excited about the tooth, but sad that she had nothing to show for it. I assured her that the tooth fairy would be just as happy to take a drawing of her tooth. That the exchange rate for real and drawn teeth were exactly the same.  She was not so sure and drew 3 teeth just in case. Or was possibly hoping for 3X the payout. I remember snooping through my parents drawers as a kid and finding a few baby teeth. These baby teeth both fascinated and disgusted me. Even mor...

It is July, which means an inevitable camp post. I can close my eyes and hear the Loma Linda screen doors slam.  I can smell the river water mixed with vinegar ear drops.  I can feel the cut of the grate of the catwalk on my bare feet and the uncomfortable way the sheet always slips off in the night and you wake up stuck to your mattress.  These days I am way too old for camp but apparently it has found some way to infiltrate all my senses and my heart. Permanently. I could not wait to send my kids. I want him to have the same crazy memories and nicknames and stories about scraped knees, bathing suits ripped on the rapids, raccoons eating contraband snacks but mostly feeling like the summer was mine.  For three weeks in July I left my parent’s world behind for an unairconditioned dorm, sub par food and not nearly enough showers for the number of girls who needed them. In return I had thirty new roommates, inside jokes, new tan lines, a fully packed cabood...

I woke up the day after my birthday and knew. For months I’ve been wondering what I need to do next, or what to be when I grow up or what happens now. But  that morning, with the smile lines and gray hairs showing through, looking every bit of another year older, I knew.  So before putting on real clothes I began searching for graduate programs. Which is a little bit silly because I already have a graduate degree. But I figured everyone now has a Masters, I might as well have 2. I applied to one school before my kids even got out of bed. I was looking at signing up for the GRE and trying to pick a program. I texted, emailed, called and made appointments with an advisor. But it wasn’t really what I was looking for. The next day, I did a little more research and stumbled upon a program that was more me. Unfortunately it will take a whole lot longer to complete and people would get to call me doctor if I got in. I applied to my second school in as ...

My son appeared in the doorway decked out in his uniform and shinguards. His hair flopped in his face and asked, “Dad, who am I battling today?” Me and my husband both laughed a little and I made a mental note to do a better job of limiting his video game time.  He looked confused and asked another question, “It is a game right?” My husband finally responded and said, “I don’t know Owen, I haven’t looked a the schedule yet. And this isn’t Pokemon, just ask who you are playing against.” He was completely satisfied by this answer, however, I was not going to let a moment for complete cheesiness pass me by. I decided to impart a life lesson on my son which he absolutely did not want. I told him that he was in fact battling someone today. In that really cute almost too big uniform with socks that went well over his knees. So again he asked who? I told him he was battling himself. He looked at me like I was crazy, which by age nine is a look he has had a lot of tim...