idontbelieveingrammar

Sometimes when you are loud and obnoxious and wiling to look like a fool on a regular basis people forget that you are still afraid of things. That you are just as insecure as they are. That you still get embarrassed and petrified and your feelings hurt. I don’t get it. I’ve had multiple people tell me how un-insecure I am.  How I will say or do anything. And I have to tell them that I am just as afraid as the next girl.  And there are plenty of things that make me run away or want to wet my pants.  Most are facing hard things like emotions, rejection or failure. But. Let’s start with the easy stuff. I have a few big fears. One is snakes  (and bears or anything that could try to eat me or poison me in the woods). And I am 100% serious. And I have run-ins with both snakes and bears almost every year.  I can hike forever. Despite being super extroverted,  I enjoy the idea of getting lost in the woods alone. I like to spot deer and ...

Yesterday I got a text around 8 am from a friend asking if we were back and town and what we were up to that day. That is not the norm. Normally by 8:00 am on a weekday I am wearing something that I had to iron (or at least should have been ironed),  already finished my second cup (and last cup) of coffee and am wrapping up my first period class. There are no thoughts to entertaining myself or my own children…just praying that I remembered to sign my son’s homework folder and hoping I can find where I set my copies. But this is summer so the rules change. I put down my book for a minute to read her text in my pjs while wondering if it was ok to let my daughter wear the same clothes she had worn the day before and also slept in. I texted back immediately that were free and that I was up for doing something. And by something I told her I meant sitting on her couch and drinking her coffee doing nothing. I didn’t shower despite the fact that I’d run the night before and hope...

Some of my friends are into their 3rd week of summer. I haven't even made it to my third day. Yesterday was my first official non-duty day...and I spent it hanging out with my favorite new 9 year old. Today. I went back to work. So much for getting the summers off. I went to a workshop where different administrators did mini Ted Talks on education. I listened intently to the first speaker ....but then apparently my attention span was already on summer break and I began to drift and I tried to process some of what was said and  two old posts below that kept coming to mind. The first speaker really tried to draw out the why of what we do...and how most corporations really nail the what and the how but don't always sell the why. (watch some Simon Sinek ) I also think that our whys are often attached to a who. A who that encouraged us, or maybe even a who who said we couldn't or shouldn't. (My why has both) And more importantly the whose who we get to be. (and ...

Yesterday I made a terrible error in judgement. Huge. One I should have known better. I went to Party City to pick up some things for my son’s birthday party on our town’s Graduation day. The line was longer than the wait for the women's bathroom at an Indigo Girls concert.  Eventually I had all plates and cups and party crap I needed and got into line.  Years later, I made it to the front and the checkout guy asked what the occasion was, if I was in on any of this graduation hoopla. I told him that the Pokemon trading cards were for my son’s 9th birthday party…NOT…high school graduation. And I pray that my he has outgrown this Pokemon thing by then if he EVER wants to kiss a girl that is not a robot. But then quickly added that I was going to attend graduation later that night. I told him that I teach high school and get to graduate every year. He laughed appropriately but I was only partly kidding. Every year I walk on stage and sit with hundreds of ...

The other day I woke up to a text from one of my favorite people. One that there isn't much I wouldn't do for. And although this request made me equal parts honored and terrified, there was never any doubt that I'd say anything but yes. Which meant I had a speech to write....becasue she was getting married...and I quickly agreed to do the toast. This was their big day and I did not want to screw it up or disappoint so I looked online for tips, I asked for suggestions and feedback and the best advice I found was here: The art of a wedding toast Unfortunately #3 on the list of things NOT to do was pretty much my whole game plan. I mean, I'm pretty sure the last day of camp slideshow with Micheal W. Smith playing in the background would have made everyone break out their cute little packs of kleenexes. Encouraged by some Chardonnay..I went off script a bit....but this is mostly what I said. One of the last nights of her term....little Karly (about 12 or 13 wit...