idontbelieveingrammar

Today I was the first day back to work, and as I was pulling on my khakis I noticed something. Tan lines. On my backside. My much lower backside. And I’m used to tan lines. Tank top, bathing suit back, and even the horrible knee sock soccer referee lines I sported back in college. But these particular lines haven’t shown themselves since I was a teenager.  And for good reason. I have never been too into my body or appearance. I work out regularly, but I rarely try the new fad diet. I spend more cash on coffee than I do clothes. The seasons change more often than I get my hair cut and a single tube of mascara can last me years. Ignoring something is not the same as embracing it. The truth is I could lose a good 20 lbs. I wish I knew how to put on eye liner the right way. I’d get a massage weekly if I could afford it. And I’d rather have a pelvic exam than go bathing suit shopping.   Or wear one in front of people. And if I have to, I am covering up my pasty white thigh...

I like to have friends with skills I don’t have. How to change a tire. Bake. Brew a really good cup of coffee. Those things come in handy. I also have quite a number of friends who are amazing photographers. And since I have ridiculously cute kids, they keep me and my house in studio quality prints. Usually for the cost of dinner or a bottle of wine. Sometimes even less. I am spoiled. Completely. I know. So when one of these super photographer friends asked me to “model” for her I agreed to whatever she wanted. As long as I got to keep my clothes on. She talked about this shoot for months. Her “vision”. Hair. Makeup. Accessories. A dress. Lighting. Location. All very artsy. And over my head and I was pretty sure she had pegged the wrong model for this shoot. I am more of a baseball cap kind of girl than what she was describing. I just told her to tell me where and when to show up. And to expect me to be a bit awkward behind the camera but that I’d try my best. She ...

I hate lines. Sometimes I will leave a store without what I want because the lines are too long. I will often go eat else where than wait the 20 minutes to be seated. Patience is not one of my virtues. The thought of spending hours in line at six flags to ride a 30 second roller coaster is not even a little bit my idea of a fun afternoon. And just thinking about going to Walmart gives me a rash. Even less than I like waiting in line, is making them. Drawing them. I am not the best disciplinarian in my house. Or my classroom. And I do think discipline is good and necessary and usually out of love. However, I always struggle with my role in it. I struggle to be the one doling it out. I live my life more in a continuum than on a particular side. I hate picking sides. So yesterday. When everyone was posting away on facebook about chick fil a, I went to a zumba class (go ahead laugh, everyone in the same room did!) and ate leftovers for dinner. And was relieved to wake up thi...