idontbelieveingrammar

Somewhere in the attic is a yellow pinstriped shirt with a front pocket. In which I kept a little black wallet with a red and yellow card. I have long since lost my line flags, but still have and occasional wear the knee high black socks with the tell-tale white stripes across the top. If you haven’t figured it out yet, I used to ref. Soccer. And I was pretty bad at it and mostly only reffed 12 and under games or college intermurals. But I had the uniform and the whistle and my very own stopwatch and the power to make a break a game for a team. And they don’t give just anyone that yellow shirt (actually anyone can buy one), but you have to take a class and pass a test to earn your badge. Or get official jobs. And there are forms to fill out with every game. And you get an awful knee tan. And everyone pretty much hates you. The only plus was a decent workout and some cash in your hand at the end of the day. My days reffing taught me a few things: That the angles on the field and ...

Some days my job is really hard. And it isn’t the days where I have a zillion papers to grade. Or where a student calls me a bitch. Or another tries to argue me out of points on a test. When they lose my restroom pass or their book. Again. When they break another test tube or steal my last pen. When they ask me to repeat what I just spent the last hour explaining because they were asleep. Or when the copy machine is broken or I forgot the quiz I stayed up late writing at home. Not when I have meeting after meeting or even mind numbing training that I will never use. Not even when I have angry parent phone messages that make me sweat. Or when I have a screaming headache and still need to teach the 150+ kids how to calculate specific heat. Not even when I have ridiculous paperwork to fill out, TAKS tests or hall duty. Not when half my class is falling asleep and I’m tempted to let them or even when APs pop in unannounced. Those days are easy compared to the few have had rece...

My school has been sending me to some inquiry training. The “i” word has been thrown around since my education classes in college. It is one of those things that is really good as a concept but kind of hard to pull off in the classroom well. For lots of reasons. But the big one number is because teachers are reluctant to let go of the control. To let the kids loose with a concept and see where they end up. Let them discover, own it and share out all on their own. Without intervening. Then push them a little bit further and clear up any misconceptions that they are holding onto before they slip out your door. This is supposed to be the most meaningful way for a kid to learn. For them to discover rather than memorize. One of the other problems with inquiry and science is that kids have stopped learning how to ask questions. My son bombards me with whys all day long. Why are owls nocturnal? (which comes out a lot more like “not-turtles”) Why do I have to take a shower? Why ...

I just watched  Waiting for for Superman, which is a documentary exposing the failures of the public school system in the US. I was warned that, as a public school teacher it would just make me frustrated and angry. Instead it just made me feel sad and helpless. The narrator talked about how sad he was to learn that Superman wasn't real. And that no one was coming to rescue them. I sobbed at the end as the kids waited for their name to be drawn in a handful of lotteries, for their chance to go to a good school. For a much better chance at education, college and adults pouring energy into their success as compared to their neighborhood schools with 60-70% dropout rates and even worse testing scores. Their future seemed to come down to their name being drawn out of hat. Or at least a pretty good head start. Most of them weren’t picked. And I watched it one statement just kept playing through my mind. “What can I do?” And it wasn’t a frustrated, this is too messed...

I have had 11 first days as a teacher. And I usually stress over what to wear and what to say, just like I did in junior high. But after 11 years I have the first day routine down pretty pat. Today was Owen's first first day. And it changed things. There were a few tears.....but this blog isn't even gonna go there. In the last school post I wrote about the million questions I had about how it would be or how he would do. And it all boiled down to one. Will his teacher love my kid? Not, what kind of degree does she have? Nor, What fabulous lesson plans did she come up with? Not how fun and warm and inviting her classroom looks. Or even what she is doing to get him ready for the state standarized tests. But will she see him? Will she encourage him? Will she love him? And today as my kids filed in. I passed out syllabi, I showed funny video clips, I occasionally even light things on fire. But I thought about my little boy with his lego backpack and darth vadar lunch box. And deci...

As teachers, every year we sit through convocation. It is essentially a grown up pep rally. We all wearing matching shirts and sit with our schools. Elementary teachers sometimes do “cheers” and get out their clappers. High school teachers grumble under their breathe, text on their cell phones and some skip out entirely. Often the speakers ask us say silly things to our neighbor, or worse. Dance. The speakers are usually good. Have written best selling books and tout a lot about building relationships, positive attitudes, raising test scores. Blah.blah.blah. And this year, we had another well known speaker. I dreaded it, even though I had bought his book not too many years ago. Because I don’t like being packed tightly in a gym when I have so many things to do in my room. I don’t want another person to tell me how positive I need to be. Or that I can make a difference. And I certainly didn’t want to dance. I came prepared. With my cell phone, sour attitude and matching shirt. I wondere...

So I know most of you are out for the summer, but my school is still in session. Until the 7th! I know. Torture when it is so beautiful outside and half the people I know are already vacation bound. As I back up my room for another summer, I thought I’d share some of my funniest moments. And for the protection of my school and my own job security…keep in mind that I have been in 4 different schools. I am not naming names or saying where. 10. I may or may not have ruined a Channel One TV with a giant magnet. Magnets on TV screens are not a good idea, but it sure was pretty. 9. One year, I used to nap during my conference on a couch in a small theater in the building. It was a great little hiding place. It was dark and quiet and it locked from the inside. Unfortunately, I was not the only person who knew about this spot and eventually my students told me what kinds of things went on, on that couch. I never napped there again. I also grew up and realized maybe napping during your confe...

The other night I met with one of my old favorite students. She was smart and funny and played soccer and liked good music and was a complete smart ass. How could I not like her? I could see a little bit of me in her. And some of the rocky she was traveling down and not talking about. I knew. Because I’d been down my own paths. It when you look at someone and see them going where you have already been, You can’t help but want to go a little ways with them. And ease the burden a bit. Neither of us are really sappy like that. So mostly we just talked about music and soccer….but we would occasionally venture into heavier topics like parents and love and worth. And now she is a little bit more grown up, but finding herself on a less rocky but narrowing path… So I took her out for some “career counseling”. And I ate her chips and sucked on my drink and tried to make her think about her future. And question where she is and where she wants to be and who she wants to bring with her. And I kep...

My AP class is kicking my rear. The readings, the notes, the labs, the tests and the late nights. Did I mention that I am the teacher? And I know this material. I’ve taken the class. I’ve been to summer workshops. I’ve racked up hours and hours of college and graduate credit in the subject. But it is so easy to forget. And on those mornings when I don’t really prepare. They can tell. The smart kids sitting their with their pens out waiting for me to fill them in on the steps of the Krebs cycle or the enzymes responsible for DNA translation or (their favorite) the ins and outs of the reproductive system (and yes, bad bad pun intended). But on those bad mornings. I stumble through. I mispronounce. I skip important details or I try to pass off someone else’s power points as my own. And power points are like some kind of magic sleepy potion. And they try to stay awake and I try my best to remember all the important parts. But last night instead of watching TV I spent a few hours with my ...