I inhale books. So much so that I’m occasionally embarrassed by my intake.
I don’t want anyone to think that I don’t work or pay attention to my family. I’m just a fast reader and I don’t watch a lot of TV or play any games on my phone. Well – except for Wordle of course.
My library card get a lot of miles.However, I still probably spend an embarrassing amount on books.
Even though I often put books in those cute little free libraries – I still have more books than shelves.
Today I did something tragic.
I did not renew my book of the month membership.
And let's be honest, it is more like three books a month.
I am not unhappy with the customer service, quality or selection.
Book of the Month, I promise …it’s not you - it’s me.
I want to invest in my writing and I realize this going to cost me.
I don’t want to take that money from my family or my kid’s college funds.
Instead I had to evaluate what I was willing to give up.
What financial choices impact me but not as many other people in my house.
It is a hard thing to quit things you love.
Or to brew my own lattes.
Or paint my own toes.
Or to pack a sandwich for lunch rather than picking something up.
But it is a small sacrifice (and yes I realize a very much entitled one) to go all in on my dreams.
Every yes is a no to something or someone else.
In this case, this no is a vote for my pursuits.
It might seem trivial, but investing in yourself is scary.
It says this dream is worth pursuing.
It is worth giving a few things up for.
I love those blue boxes that show up in my doorstop.
They will stop coming.
Instead. I will put that money (and some others) into myself.
It feels selfish and scary.
But also exciting as helI.
I was supposed to write this essay based on the prompt renew.
And instead I found myself writing about what I was canceling.
That isn’t completely true.
Sometimes it requires canceling one thing to renew another.
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