In the middle of town there is a big giant big open
Christmas tree made out of lights. Most people just drive through the park. But
I always like to get out and go stand under it. Right in the middle.
And spin. I probably started this self imposed tradition with a good buzz as a teenager and didn’t need to spin to make the lights all run together. And I have to admit it kind of feels like flying.
Spinning, swirling, lights blurring, like one of those speedy action shots in a big city.
I didn’t know this was unusual until I asked some friends to
spin right in the middle of the Garylord Texan and they stared at me like I was
crazy. One reluctantly put her arms out, the other I am pretty sure prayed that
no one would see us.
I didn’t care who was watching, I wanted to feel like that.
Like flying. Like I was somehow right in the middle of all that light.Maybe even a little bit like I was home.
Last Christmas me and one of those rare kinds of friends
where you can not talk in months and months and pick right back up where you
left off were sitting at my dad’s big kitchen table. Her girls in bed, mine
getting their jammies on and after a glass of wine, I managed to talk her into a little field
trip. We hopped into the car and went straight to Central
Park . I parked and even though it was wet and cold we got out and
stood under the tree.
And spun. Arms out because that is the only way to do it. (and helps prevent you from busting your rear…although that is likely to happen anyways).
And all I could see were colors spinning.
And I’m heard my friend say she had to stop but I kept spinning.
Eventually I slowed but the lights didn’t stop moving.
I tried to walk and wasn’t very successful.
My friend laughed as I stumbled back to the car.
I don’t like the not being able to walk straight
feeling, but I do like the few seconds where everything is still spinning even
when I’m not.
Your inner ear is filled with fluid and it is the vibrations
in this fluid that helps us to hear. But twirl a glass of water and the fluid inside will
continue to circle even after you stop it. Rotational inertia. Things want to maintain motion. To keep
going, Even if it is in a circle. Maybe this is why it is so hard for most of
us to be still.
This town is never the same to me.
It looks different every time I visit.It keeps changing, even when I don’t.
And my life is like that too. I keep moving, In all kinds of
directions. Even when I try to stop, things keep moving. Blurring together. Just
like the lights, leaving me occasionally lost, disoriented and dizzy.
But. if you just take a minute to look up. All you see is color.
All I see is beautiful.
And it doesn’t seem to matter if I will stumble when it all stops.
This year, I took my kids back to the tree.
We parked the car. Got in the middle and I told them to
spin.There were several other families and groups of teenagers right there in the middle doing the same thing.
Our arms spread wide, looking up rather than at each other, we often hit each other.
We were all strangers spinning under the lights.
Some of us kids, the rest of us giggling like we were.
Stumbling a bit, but no one seemed to mind.
Looking up. Moving in circles. Falling down.
Getting back up and doing it all over again.
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