Skip to main content

closets


I am ending my last week of summer with a bang.

By cleaning out my closets.
My clothes just need some weeding. And hanging and I’m hoping to find that pair of jeans and single flip flop I lost.
Owen has a few clothes that need to go. but mostly I just need to match up his shoes and throw out the things with holes and get rid of all the AWOL legos that have made it in there. And pray that I don’t find anything that used to be alive.
But Tess’s closet is in the biggest need. It seems like everytime I do laundry I need to sort through her clothes and pack up the ones that no longer fit.

Because she seems to wake up bigger every day.
The only thing that isn’t growing is her hair.
So I filled two trashbags with clothes that no longer fit to pass on to a friend and another to Goodwill.
And I’m not a saver. I’m happy to get rid of stuff.
But everytime I go through my kids clothes I get a little nostalgic.
Her Easter dress and the outfit she wore to her birthday party and the jammies with the feet in them. I almost want to hold on to them even though it would be silly.
And I’m shocked that they have such a short life span. That they already don’t fit. That this summer’s clothes will all need to be replaced by next summer.
That kind of growth, frustrates more than my wallet.

My husband left a sweatshirt on the train last week in Seattle. His favorite. That he has had for longer than I’ve known him. I’d guess it was 18 or so years old. I don’t have anything that old in my closet, but I do have a few things from college which is more years than I want to add up and definitely in the double digits. And I shop more than I wish I did. But I mostly buy the same sizes. And if I’m growing it certainly isn’t in the right directions.


My son inches up his doorframe. Slowly but surely.
My daughter’s clothes barely make it through the season.
But my growth is a lot harder to guage.
And often it feels like I am not doing it at all.
And I’m sure that isn’t true.
But some seasons feel like it.
And this is one of them.
I look back and feel like I’m in the same place I was over a decade ago.
That I have changed even less than my favorite shirts that have been washed so many times that they are thin and soft and shouldn't be worn in public.
And I wish their was some kind of inventory I could do. That I could just bag up those habits and mistakes that I keep hoping to outgrow. And get rid of them for good.
And somehow they keep showing back up in my closet.
And sometimes I even put them on.

But, when I’m done with Tess’s clothes.
I’ll move on to those really hard things I need to get rid of.
The kind that don’t fit on hangers.
And if that isn’t growth, I don’t know what is……….


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

multiple choice

As I write I am procturing a test ( yes on a Saturday, and no I am not getting paid for it.) The room is silent. The only noises I hear are pencils scratching on papers and pages turning. If I listen closely enough I swear I can hear their brains turning. I have always been a good test-taker. I would still regularly brag about my SAT scores if it wre socially appropriate to do so(or an actual indicator of anything meaningful). There is something comforting about multiple choice. (well as long as you don't have the crappy all of the above or none of the above choices...just the classic A, B, C, D variety). There are parameters. Multiple choice means you have options. The right answer is right in front of you, and all you have to do is find it. Even if you don't actually know which one the right answer is there are usually clues, it can be narrowed down or worked backwards. Even a blind guess is likely to be right 25% of the time. These aren't bad odds. All you have t...
Post a Comment
Read more

Turning the question

My school has been sending me to some inquiry training. The “i” word has been thrown around since my education classes in college. It is one of those things that is really good as a concept but kind of hard to pull off in the classroom well. For lots of reasons. But the big one number is because teachers are reluctant to let go of the control. To let the kids loose with a concept and see where they end up. Let them discover, own it and share out all on their own. Without intervening. Then push them a little bit further and clear up any misconceptions that they are holding onto before they slip out your door. This is supposed to be the most meaningful way for a kid to learn. For them to discover rather than memorize. One of the other problems with inquiry and science is that kids have stopped learning how to ask questions. My son bombards me with whys all day long. Why are owls nocturnal? (which comes out a lot more like “not-turtles”) Why do I have to take a shower? Why ...
Post a Comment
Read more

what we mostly forget

Think back. Long and hard. Ten Years. Longer. At least twenty. Twenty five. Thirty. If you are old like me. And what do you remember? If you are like me a lot is fuzzy. Things that stand out aren’t exactly the kinds of things you find in photo albums. My earliest memory is being hit in the head with a pick axe by my cousin. I swear I heard my skull crack. But it couldn’t have been that bad in real life because I don’t even think we went to the hospital. Fast forward a bit. I remember my first grade teacher making me cry because I got my greater than and less than signs backwards. I remember being punched on the playground in second grade. If I sit here long enough and try more memories will trickle in. And some of them are good and happy and wonderful. But most of them aren't. I’m sure I played lots of games of chase and at popsicles and go plenty of smiley faces on my papers. I’m sure I made new friends and wowed them with my wit and strawberry shortcake dolls, but mostly I rememb...
15 comments
Read more