Skip to main content

messy



I went to visit a good friend this weekend. When I walked into her town house, the Christmas tree was still up. The laundry piled on a chair in the basement where I was sleeping and toys scattered the floor.
When I asked for a broom (as a prop, not for cleaning purposes), she told me she didn’t have one. To which her husband replied. Yes we do. Beside the fridge.
It was just like my house. But neater.

The other day I had some friends over unexpectedly and we had to make our way through dolls and toys and legos just to put our purses down. And I didn't even flinch.
Because they know me. It wasn't the first time they have seen laundry baskets in my living room, dog hair in the corners and dirty dishes in the sink. They know my mess. And came in anyways.

Most of my favorite friends don't require knocking, much less picking up first. Or makeup. Or even getting out of my pjs.

Sometimes me and another friend send pictures back and forth to see whose house is messier. And I shockingly, I don't always win.
Or some pictures of ourselves that would make me cry if they ever made it to facebook.
And for some reason.
The messy makes me like them even more.
Because.
Seeing someone’s mess, makes me feel better about my own.
(and that statement alone should tell you that I have issues!)
And I don’t mean so much my dirty laundry or my greasy hair.
But mostly my not so together cluttered heart.
I’m tired of hiding it. Of trying to pick up. Of not letting people in my car because they might never find their way through all the coffee cups and juice boxes.
Of showing them the picked up ready for company version of me.
Instead. Seeing someone’s mess. Means it is ok to show them mine.
The dirty dishes. The junk drawer. Those habits that I still can’t break. My questions. That I can sometimes be mean or jealous or insecure. Because what I’m afraid of most isn’t that telling you that I can’t remember the last time I changed my son’s sheets. Or that I haven’t plugged in the vaccum in over a month. That I actually prefer to wear dirty jeans. But that not only are my closets a mess, but that so is the rest of me.
And lets be honest.
Most of us are. Atleast parts of us.
So, show me yours and I’ll show you mine.

Comments

Margie said…
Oh, yes, I LOVE walking into other people's houses and seeing mess! On the other hand, I am terribly self-conscious about my own! I want to overcome it enough to open the door and have people in. I used to have neighbors that dropped in constantly, and we never worried about it - it was just that way. But now they're gone and the fix-up-for-other-people insecurity is back. Hate it.

I'm committed to writing about mess this year; rather writing with authenticity. About my heart and ways I've failed. I don't do that well, but it's time to turn over a new leaf. But you, my friend, are great at it. Your honesty can take my breath away.
Sarah said…
Oh, thank you. My house looks like this today (and most days) and tonight I'm not going to even feel guilty as I ignore it and go to bed. And I think you're right about the other kind of mess, but I don't have the first clue about talking about that. Thanks for the encouragement.

At least the dishes in the sink are really cute dishes.
Kate said…
Mess. Yup. Here the toys don't even have homes, they just migrate to other piles. Everywhere. And aren't sinks made for holding dirty dishes? And if someoe doesn't have dirty laundry or clean laundry out... well... I don't know that I can trust them. They are hiding something.

But the real mess, the mess in my head and my heart where my questions outweigh any certainties, where my thoughts form puddles and crust over before I can get to them, that mess is hard for me to show. But it's there.
Beth (and Eric) said…
So true.
And at least your messy pictures are cute & colorful! ;)

I love you!
Melissa said…
I am messy too. Still not brave enough to let other people see more than a glimpse of it here and there. Maybe I just don't have a friend like that. :)
mommaof3 said…
When are you coming back to town? You can come into my mess anytime!

When I was mentoring a college gal as we came into the drive way for the first time I looked to her before I opened the garage door. I asked her if she was ready. I said "This here is real life." Then I opened the door.....

Hmmmm, that's the same thing I said to my sister before I revealed my stretch marks after baby #1......

Popular posts from this blog

Either/Or

Recently I met an old friend for lunch. He was actually my senior high prom date. He wasn’t just my prom date, but had been my friend for a good part of high school. And our group has mostly stayed in touch through the years. But not him. Even though we live in the same big metroplex, I hadn’t seen him in almost 15 years. At prom, He even won some kind of senior superlative, Mr. BHS or something like that. In other words, he was well-liked, nice, funny and smart. And it helped that he drove a Camero. We didn’t break up or have a falling out. He kind of just disappeared. And not just from me, but from everyone. And I had looked for him. At class reunions. On myspace. And eventually, only about a year ago, he finally showed up on facebook. When he did, I suggested we get together for dinner or something. And he responded with a really awkward email. Explaining that he was gay. Warning me. Trying to let me out of my dinner invitation if I wanted. And I already knew this. Possibly I had ev

me too

I used to never question God. It was just part of the way things were. Just like I believed in Santa and the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny. And eventually I grew up and started to wonder. I always believed, But occasionally I started to wonder if he was always good. If he really loved me. Singular me rather than an all inclusive version. That he was paying attention. That my prayers mattered.` And I didn’t know that I should play by the rules. That questioning these outloud things in a Bible study or Sunday School class Will get you bumped to the top of the prayer list. Because I know. But sometimes I wonder. And I didn’t need their scripture memory verses or their books or their prayers. (but I guess prayers never hurt) And I was just hoping for someone else to say “me too”. And, Jason Boyett’s book, O Me of Little Faith Is one great big “me too” And like most books I like he asks a whole lot more questions than he answers. Hard ones. Ones without real answers. Ones that make me wa

imaginary friends

Recently I had a friend disappoint me. I didn’t tell them. And I didn’t write about it when it happened. Instead I seethed a little and got angrier and slightly resentful and finally dumped it on my husband. (who had some great advice that will come later) And. I have hesitated to write this piece because a lot of my real life friends read this. Maybe even the one I’m writing about. Maybe not. Actually I’m not really sure. And to be honest the best pace to work this out would be with them. Just them. And not on line. But. It’s not really about them. It’s more about me. And I don’t think there is so much to work out anyways. So, if you are my real life friend and are reading this and wondering, hesitantly or fearfully if this is about you. It might be. But it probably isn’t. And again. Even if it is. It’s not REALLY about you. And if it isn’t. It could be. If we have been friends for more than five minutes, we have probably had a moment like this. So, back to me venting to my husband.