a short jog

So maybe July in Texas isn’t the best time to start running again.
But I have never been confined by logic,
So lately,
My Nikes which have been on hiatus for a while are getting a workout.
Just last week they still looked shiny and new even though I’ve had them for months.

I used to run.
I’m not really sure how that started either.
One Spring break I was broke, most of my friends were either out of town or weren’t lucky enough to get Spring Break and my husband was on the road for business.
So I decided that I was going to run a marathon that week.
Not like in an actual race.
Just that in the next 7 days I was going to run 26.2 miles.
And I did.
Which was kind of dumb idea for a beginner.

The first day I ran 3.75 miles. And my legs felt like jelly.
The next day I ran another 3.75 miles and prided myself on how not too miserably sore I was.
And on the third day, I wasn’t sure I could even get out of bed.
But I ran my 3.75 miles anyways.
I finished my 26.2 miles that week and kept running.
I felt happier than normal (and I’m usually pretty happy).
My thighs stopped rubbing together and even though I was pounding the pavement for long stretches of time everyday I had more energy.
In other words, all that crap they say about exercise is apparently true.
And a few months later I ran a half marathon.
My time was nothing to be proud of, but I finished without walking or stopping and I felt like super woman.
But then I decided I deserved a break.
And it hasn’t ever been the same since.

Not running only made me not want to run more.
Even though I missed being skinny and happy and not always so tired.

Unlike my mountain biking phase, and my scrapbooking phase, and my guitar playing phase,
This is a phase that I continually come back to every few months.
Occasionally I sign up for a race and train for a bit,
Or run consistently for a stretch.
But I am usually disheartened.
I remember when I could run for hours and curse myself for sucking wind after 5 minutes.

It is easy to quit.
It is easy to say that I will run tomorrow instead.

But for some reason, maybe boredom again.
I laced up my shoes last week.
I set the bar low.
I told myself I’d just go for a short jog.
1 mile. Maybe less. I consoled myself with the fact that anything would be better than nothing.
I couldn’t find my ipod, which I thought meant it would be a really short run.
And before I even got off the driveway it started misting.

But I ran anyways.
Even when the rain started coming down pretty hard.
And I ran 2 miles instead of just 1.

And it felt so good, that a few hours later I ran again.
That night I puked. ( maybe that had something to do with the second martini……but I also blame the shock to my body)
I ran the next day too.

I am not signed up for any kind of race (at least not til September).
I am not on any crazy diet (although I probably should be).
I am just running because I am tired of being tired.
And the refreshing ache in my thighs and calves feels like a welcome old friend.

And today.
It was so hot, so I told myself…just a short jog.
Just 1 mile. Just 10 minutes.
And again I ran 2.

At some point.
I turned off my ipod.
And just listened.
Lately, my thoughts have been so noisy.
And suddenly all I could hear was my shoes hitting the pavement.
My lungs struggling to breathe and my heart working just a little too hard.
Somehow I had managed to run faster than all the noise.
And I jogged home in my sweaty silence.