Skip to main content

for Tucker

I have a friend Beth who has my favorite laugh of all times.
It is the best laugh you have ever heard she is very generous with it.
She is just one of those bright happy people that you just want to be around. Because well, when she is you find yourself smiling and laughing more too.
In one word she is joyful.

But a few days ago, my sweet Beth had a son. He was a beautiful 4 lbs 3 ounces and looked a lot like his older sister.
He was stillborn.

I can't read or type those words without feeling like I am being hit in the stomach.

She wrote about it very breifly on her facebook page and I am absoultely humbled by the amazing grace that she displayed.

I know that our God is good.
But it is so hard to remember in this moment.
and it almost seems wrong to even type it.
People keep expressing sympathy for her loss.
And loss is such a huge understatement when it comes to a child.
She was robbed.
But my friend Beth still manages to see that she is blessed and will continue to be blessed.
By her daughter.
By her family.
By her friends.
that are all willing to greive with her.
that are all pouring out their love and sorrow and questions
by trying to find words that aren't there.
with flowers and phone calls and food.
and prayers and hugs and tears.

Because you see.
My friend Beth might have a dark hard path to walk down but
she will not be doing it alone.
and Nothing
neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to steal her joy away forever.

So however long it takes friend, I promise to still be praying for you when you are ready to laugh again.

Comments

spaghettipie said…
Michelle, you often comment how you're not good with the words part of walking thru a tough time (you're the "distractions girl") . . . but these words are beautiful and perfect.
samskat said…
Please let your friend know that there are moms everywhere praying for her and her family. I can't even imagine.
AP said…
Hi - I'm a friend of Beth's, too. Waned to thank you so much for sharing this... you so beautifully and perfectly describe her grace and spirit, and I think you've summed up the feelings of all her friends who are grieving with her and for her. I also agree that Beth's laugh is the world's greatest!
Unknown said…
I am a friend of Beths and I just want to say that your words could not have been written better. It was beautifula nd I thank you for sharing them. Brook
Sara B. said…
Michelle, you have summed up some of what we are all feeling and grieving for Beth. I am a high school friend of hers and though we aren't so close anymore, grief has a way of binding you to person's present experience and makes you want to carry the burden with them, no matter how small the part. Beth, much love to you across the miles and the years. I love the verse in Psalm 23 about God leading us beside still waters... "He RESTORES my soul." I know your laugh will one day soon be restored. Our joy will be complete one day though the journey is long. Suffering with you - Sara (Pfeif!)
Margie said…
This post was one I felt, and one I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. I have put Beth in my prayers, too.

Popular posts from this blog

pace yourself

Tonight I went running with a friend ten years my junior. I asked her how far she was running and when she said only about 1.5 or 2 miles, I teased her that I could go at least twice that far. And to just let me know when she needed to stop. I have been running pretty regularly for the last few weeks. It isn’t long but keep increasing my time and distance. I’ve stopped getting blisters. I don’t suck wind after five minutes anymore and I was feeling pretty good about myself. Thinking I might even be able to out run this girl who was so much younger and obviously in more shape than me. As we started to jog I told her that I run pretty slow. Like my husband used to walk beside me while I ran, slow. And she slowed her gait a little bit for me but it was still faster than I usually go. I was a little embarrassed and was not going to ask her to slow down again. So I just ran at her pace. I stayed close. And was fading fast. A little over a mile in I was ready to quit. Again, pride, which isn...

pursue something else.

Americans like the idea of happy. of pursuing happiness. It is even one of our inalienable rights at least according to the Declaration of Independance. But I think maybe we should pursue something else. like love or joy or peace or contentment. and leave happy alone. Don't read me wrong. I am neither bitter nor cynical. Even my problems are good problems. I am positive. Half full. And most days I laugh a whole lot more than I cry. And simple things like a dance party in the living room, an hour alone in Barnes and Noble, the yellow pajama pants my son picked out for me for mother's day, potstickers, clean sheets, someone surprising me with coffee, jeans fresh from the dryer, a good song on the radio, or squeals of delight when I walk in the door all make my heart sing. They make me happy. For a minute. But when the squealing turns to screaming, my new pants are dirty, the sheets are in a jumble on the floor or the coffee runs out....where does that leave me? And happy isn'...

my first dance

My wedding day is a little bit of a blur. And it was a great day. But so many people and so much going on and so many moments that it is hard to remember them all clearly without the help of photographs. But I totally remember my first dance as a bride. And it wasn’t with my husband. Or even my father, or brother. I had quickly kicked off my heels and hid them underneath a table. Said my hellos and hugs and smiled until my face hurt. Someone ushered us through the buffet line and I piled my plate with hors d'oeuvres and headed to a table. But before I could pop a single shrimp in my mouth someone grabbed me firmly by the arm and pulled me onto the dance floor and into a jitterbug before I could protest. It was my husband’s granddaddy. A man I had only met about a few times and heard say about as many words. So I was a little surprised when he spun me around the dance floor. Eventually that night I danced with my husband. And my dad. And probably even my brother. But my fir...