Me and Shaun have always had Valentines traditions. First of all we don't make a huge deal out of the day. I love an excuse to be sappy and lately it feels like I need to schedule romantic......but we don't let Halmark steal all the glory. Our first Valentines we put a 5$ limit on our gifts and were told to be creative. For me that was writing why I loved him on the back of every StarWars valentine in the box. For Shaun it meant bouncy balls and a bag of half eaten candy. So we upped the limit and threw the creativity clause out the window. Back in Lubbock we used to always go to Orlandos on Q ( because no one goes past University) and savored the mafia queso. Here we have always gone out the night or 2 before to skip the big crowds. Plus I am impatient and can never wait that long. With O and another on the way I was looking especially forward to a special date. Then we all got the flu. No one felt like eating out or going out or being even a little bit romantic. To give Shaun credit he got me a card, one from O and Starbucks card. I got him nothing ( I had the bathroom re-tiled so he didn't have to do it...does that count?). I planned to get a fun cookie cake from the mall and deliver it to him at work. But I couldn't get myself off the couch. ( He is the one who gave me the flu after all). Later that afternoon managed to bake some cupcakes. O added sprinkles but did not feel limited by red. I don't remember dinner. Possibly Quiznos. No candles. No restraunt. No steak dinner (which is fine by me, red meat makes me want to puke right now). I went to bed early determined to go to the work for the first full day all week on Friday. As I laid in bed watching cartoons with Owen I taught him to hold hands like a big boy. All five fingers intertwined, not me just holding on to the one. Every time I let go he said, "He said no mommy, hold hands". So I laid there, sick in bed before 9, with my hand engulfing his.....thinkning it wasn't such a bad Valentines after all.
Today I am supposed to be doing my last installment in five for ten and write about "yes". And this is not at all the post I intended. But life sometimes doesn't take the turns we want it to. And yesterday a teacher friend of mine called and told me about a memorial service for one of my former studetns and asked if maybe I would consider saying something. And keep in mind, that as a teacher, I pretty much speak to groups of people all day for a living. But. If I have to say something serious and heartfealt, even to an audience of one, I usually get all mumbly and stare at my shoes and forget what I was going to say. Even though I love this kid....and will miss him terribly I have a hard time imaging myslef on stage talking to an auditorium filled with grief stricken friends and family. I texted another friend about my reservations. And she knows all too well my mumbly shoe staring state. And she replied, "Did you say yes?" Did which I typed back. "of cour...
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