idontbelieveingrammar

I haven’t put up my tree yet. I haven’t even gotten it down from the attic. I’m not opposed to get all Christmas-y. I’m just not to the tree stage yet. I like to do it one step at a time. Yesterday we made a list of 25 or so things. One for each day. Yesterday we made an advent wreath. Well sortof. It isn’t really a wreath ( just a big candle holder), and I don’t even have the right colors. (Micheals and Target were all out of purple……..and good luck finding tapers!) But in the middle of our kitchen table is a glass dish with three chubby pink candles and a one green one surrounding a big white candle that Owen likes to call the Jesus candle. Owen couldn’t wait to light the first candle ( of course, he couldn’t because he is a little pyro). ….but he knows that it represents hope. …..and he knows that next week he will get to light another. And eventually…..we will get to that big special white one in the middle. Not everyday, but often enough I’ll be posting about Advent. A few years a...

Mansfield has one homeless man that I see on a semi-regular basis. He doesn't look like he should be homeless. He looks more like someone I went to highschool with. Who could really use a shower. This morning I saw on my way home from getting coffee, and pulled over like I occasionally do. I didn't have any cash. So I went next door and got some breakfast instead. Two sausage egg and cheese bisquits. And I pulled them out. And he remembered me. And we sat on the stoop and ate our breakfasts together. And introduced himself as Andrew. Which is probably not his real name. Because later he told me a different one. And we jumped right into our stories. Before getting on to me about what is "safe".... I don't really think we are called to safe. But nonetheless I didn't give him my last name or social security # or address or anything crazy like that. (well one thing crazy, and maybe we will talk about that later). I didn't ask. But he told me bits about how he ...

The old “when God closes a door he opens a window”. Open windows I can handle. But what about when God opens the door, lets you get just a peak at what’s on the other side and then slams it in your face. That is what has left me a bit reeling this morning. Because I feel like God is so ridiculously good to me. But. I am not always so good to him. I am searching for what it is I am supposed to do. How I am supposed to serve. And just when I go out on a limb and am obedient. Which is scary. But feels so good. Because for a rare moment you are doing exactly what it is that you are supposed to do. The stars align and you know it isn’t the stars and then, The door slams. Right on your nose. With no windows in sight. And it hurts so much more than it should. And there is always the question…. Is God closing this door? Am I supposed to start looking for my windows. Checking my motives. Should I placate myself with holding up my end of the bargain. Finding whatever lesson it is that I am suppo...

Lately I haven't really wanted to go to Sunday School. It has been .... kind of off. The study we are in hasn't been drawing out real conversation. We mostly make jokes about something else. Watch the clock tick. And decide on where to eat afterwards. I had even been wondering if this room at 11:00 o'clock was still the one for me. But then there was this Sunday. The food was lame store bought muffins ( I can say that b/c I brought them). There were many empty seats. The study was still a little stale. But right before praise and concern we did something different. In honor of Thanksgiving we went around the circle and were each asked to share one thing that we were thankful for. Sounds so second grade right? Wrong. We went around and people spilled their hearts. No one just said, " I'm thankful for my family". Instead they praised their wife sitting beside them until they weren't the only ones choked up. No one mentioned a new iphone ( not even me), but ...

so haven't blogged in 10 or so days, (which is a while for me)......... I have 10 straight days off ( counting yesterday that I wasn't supposed to be off but stayed home with sick kids)....and I figured I'd catch up on my blogging. Only really I don't have much to say. And that is a problem. I figured I'd post anyways. But I think there is a message here anyways. Something about how we need a story. We need things to write about. Which is probably going to take me getting off the couch.....

All these serious posts lately….and I’m not really a serious girl. So, let me lighten the mood. One word: golf. You see I am not really a detail kind of girl. More often than not my socks don’t match. My posts (and all other written correspondences) are filled with typos and misspellings. And I see the speed limit as more of a suggestion to me than an actual value that I think I am supposed to stay under… But golf is kind of a detail sport. I think the whole point is accuracy. Not, just to hit the ball as hard as you can. Who knew? In college I used to work at PuttPutt and figured this made me a professional golfer of sorts. I can putt through a freakin windmill, surely I can land a ball on the green. (turns out that is faulty logic). So I bought clubs and played with Shaun a few times. I thought years ago ( before kids), that if I learned to play it would be something we could do together. Until he tried to actually “instruct” me on how to swing. Teachers are the worst students. Esp...

The grand finale. Well, I was hoping for one but I’m not so sure this is it. This post is a little late because I couldn’t decide what to do for this week….. I kept waiting…. I was hoping for a big fat check to land in my mailbox. So that I could be faithful and give away half. And of course go skiing with the rest. But no big fat check came. Turns out I have to give away what I already have. Because that was what it was really all about any ways. I also toyed with the idea of giving away half of what is in my savings account, or checking account, or something else big and substantial and impressive. But that isn’t where I have ended up. Instead I’m not giving away much. But I’m hoping you will. In front of me is a short stack of 10$ bills. All crisp and new and fresh and straight from the ATM. But these bills are marked. In Sharpie across the front is this verse: “For everything comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for his glory.” Romans 11:36a Because all t...

( Week5 ) Let me be up front that I am a cheater. This should be obvious to that noticed that I didn’t post anything yesterday. A girl using her time wisely shouldn’t miss her weekly Sunday post. …..but I had an exceptionally busy weekend. And I am a complete cheater. I checked my facebook and google reader almost everyday. Even on my so called days off. But maybe I spend a few minutes rather than the better part of an hour there. I was amazed at how hard it was to not come home and plop myself down in front of the computer. My kids watched less cartoons. I graded more papers. We danced in the living room. I cooked dinner. Real dinner, vegetable included. Overall. I got more stuff done. And my son didn’t have to say, “Mommy, I’m talking to you! Pay attention!” And yes, I was available to help a few people out. I didn’t do anything spectacular. I delivered a meal and I babysat for someone on Owen’s soccer team. Neither of which I wanted to do. Or were for a good friend that I was happy ...

When I was in college I tried snow boarding. Us girls thought the snowboarding pants and boots were much cuter than the ski ones. My snowboarding experience only made it halfway up the bunny hill. I fell and my knee made a funny noise and felt all loose inside. I tore my MCL before ever even getting on a lift. So much for those cute boots. I opted out of surgery and only had to wear a big bulky expensive brace for a few months. Ok, I think I was actually supposed to wear it for a few months which I translated into a few weeks. But despite not following the doctors orders it healed up ok. Mostly. When it gets cold or I run too much or I play a particuarly aggresive soccer game...it creaks and cracks and hurts. Then I'll favor the other leg for a while until it doesn't hurt anymore. Today, while driving in my car to meet a friend... I remembered something. which made me remember something else. which made me remember something else. and then I hit a raw spot. not eddie murphy raw...

So I am wishing that I had only made this a 4 week experiment. I could probably. I mean, how many people actually read this blog anyways. But…I’d hate to disappoint the eight of you. So I have 2 more weeks to go. And this week, Inspired by my favorite day of the year, I am giving up something precious to me. Something priceless. Something that I am incredibly wasteful with. Something that last night at 12:01 I magically received a little bit extra of ….well at least until next Spring when it will be taken back. My time. Because it isn’t always about stuff. Sometimes it is just about being available. Literally giving up half my time would be almost impossible Because I still have to you know…work and sleep… And that takes up over half my time as it is. So there will have to be rules. For this week, I will at least try not to waste half my time. On Monday, Wednesday and Friday (ok, for you math whizzes out there…I realize that 3 days out of 7 isn’t officially half, I am not counting Sund...