Skip to main content

open eyes.


Lately I have been busy.
School started three weeks ago. And I’m already about three weeks behind in grading papers and lesson plans.
I’m training for a race in a few weeks that I’m so not ready for.
Soccer season has started.
And there are appointments, open houses, practices and already sick kids.

And today I noticed something I hadn’t noticed in about a month.
A man living in his van.
Literally down by the river (or technically a lake). I had just parked at the dam and was about to try and ride my bike across the 8 mile stretch . This slightly dirty long haired guy in a old beat up van started to pull all kinds of things out of the back.

Usually this is where I feel my heart being pulled and I can’t not do something.
Say something.
Give something.
At least try. In some awkward way to help.
At least, look the guy in the eye and say hello.

Instead, I wasn’t sure. I talked myself out of it.
Maybe he wasn't really homeless and I'd just insult him by offering to help.
Because when he pulled a bike out from the back of his van I told myself maybe he is just a guy with a messy car just like me, and about to go for a ride too.
I knew I was wrong.
But convincing myself that he didn’t need my help, that I shouldn’t really do anything was easier than adjusting my plans, or speaking up.

So I hit the dam.
And realized that this was the first homeless man I have seen in a month.
An entire month.

And not because the poverty issue in my town has magically been resoloved.
The problems didn’t go anywhere.
Nothing changed.

I just stopped noticing.
Because I was busy. And tired.
And it was easier not to see.

I promised myself that if the guy was still there, that I would talk to him when I came back. Even though I really needed to get back home. Even though I only had a couple bucks on me. Even though I was a little scared.

So after my ride, I pedaled back into the parking lot and saw a lawn chair sitting beside the van with some dirty jeans drying over them.
There was no denying it now.
He lived in his van.
But him and his bike were no where to be seen.

So I loaded up my bike in the back of my husband’s truck.
Slipped my few bucks into his dirty jeans.
And drove off.

No less busy.
But with open eyes.

Comments

I don't know if I've ever had Open Eyes...I see things I want to see, and quietly shift my focus away from things I don't want to see.

I'll try, though...

Popular posts from this blog

Canceled

I inhale books. So much so that I’m occasionally embarrassed by my intake. I don’t want anyone to think that I don’t work or pay attention to my family.  I’m just a fast reader and I don’t watch a lot of TV or play any games on my phone. Well – except for Wordle of course. My library card get a lot of miles. However, I still probably spend an embarrassing amount on books.  Even though I often put books in those cute little free libraries – I still have more books than shelves.  Today I did something tragic.  I did not renew my book of the month membership.  And let's be honest, it is more like three books a month.  I am not unhappy with the customer service, quality  or selection.  Book of the Month, I promise …it’s not you - it’s me.  I want to invest in my writing and I realize this going to cost me.  I don’t want to take that money from my family or my kid’s college funds.  Instead I had to evaluate what I was willing to give up.  What financial choices impact me but not as many

slow

Recently I went to the local running store and let them charge a ridiculous amount for a new pair of running shoes. I used to run. Just like I used to do lots of things, but lately I have been slow to get off the couch. Let’s be honest. This season has been a long one, and I’ve been slow to do a lot of things that are good for me. My old shoes are wearing thin and nothing motivates like a new pair of kicks.  I quickly found my brand and style of choice and asked the worker to bring them in my size. The owner spoke up from the back, “So you are picking your shoes out based on how they look?” I pulled my own foot into her view. I showed her a similar pair in teal, well worn, with the big toe scuffed all the way through. The model was a few years old and I needed a fresh start.  “Nope. These are my brand, but I’m open to your suggestions.” Runners are very particular about their shoes.  I tell her I need something to absorb a lot of the impact.  I tell her that I overpronate just a little

The annual REAL Christmas letter: 2021 edition

  One of my favorite traditions for over a  decade has been to sit down and try to write a REAL Christmas letter.  Not just the highlights, but a few honest moments as well. It started as a joke with one of my friends, thinking how refreshing it be for people to share more than just their perfect lives that we are used to seeing on Facebook and Instagram. It would be way more truthful and a whole lot more entertaining. So here goes… 2021 I had such high hopes for you. Well, actually the bar was pretty low but clearly not low enough. If I have learned anything from 2020 it is that even things that are difficult, the days are still a gift. It is a gift to gather with family without a Covid test or a worrisome 5 days after. It is a gift to go to the movies or a concert. It is a gift to go to work, school and sporting events. It is a gift to get vaccines, to board an airplane to sit in a pew at church. It is a gift to be allowed back to visit someone in the emergency room. It is a gift to