Skip to main content

custormer service

I think my children are allergic to the phone. Not the actual appliance. That they push buttons on, chew, gnaw, hide, slobber over and Owen has been known to use as a flashlight to scare away monsters. It is only when it is properly in use that the allergic reaction begins. The second someone answers on the other end or I attempt to leave a message, someone has a breakdown.

Today, I realized that I never paid the credit card bill. It is usually due about now and I don't remember ever seeing it. I grabbed the mail basket, which Tess immediately emptied all over the floor and began to chew on some junk mail. I decided that a cd case was much more safe and seemed to occupy her for a moment.
After sifting through some old Christmas cards, a few coupons, magazine subscription renewal pleas and mounds of junk mail ...I find what I had been searching for. The bill. The one that is due tomorrow. Any other bill and this would be no big deal. Credit cards however will have a late fee equivalent to my balance. I realize that this is the 21st century and I can pay it online. No clue what the log in is but surely I can click on that box under login pass word and they can email it to me. Atleast after I tell them my pet's name, 3rd grade teacher and bra size.
One small problem, they need to know that little bitty # written on the back of your credit card. I don't actually have this card. It is in the lock box in the top of Shaun's closet ... for obvious reasons ( hey, the lock box is much improved over the ziplock bag of water that it used to be frozen in the freezer).
I decide to go with plan B and make my payment over the phone ( for a big fat fee......although still less than my late fee would be). I go to the bathroom, gather up snacks and find something good to watch on TV, knowing that I might be here a while. On hold, listening to corny music interupted every so often just to let me know that my call is important to them.
Shockingly after pushing about 50 buttons and only 5 or so minutes on hold......a person actually answer.
A person who for which English is not their first langauge. Flashbacks to Slumdog Millionaire flood my brain while I ask to make my payment, agree to their outrageous fee, and that NO I would not like to purchase additional insurance, a new watch or a magic bullet food processor.
Tess suddenly realizes that I am actually talking on the phone and her allergic reaction begins.
She discards the tasty cd case that she was chewing on and tries to eat the phone. I hear a click and fear the worst. That me and my new foriegn friend have been disconnected. I click flash and am relieved to hear this woman ( even if it is a struggle to understant her) still on the other line. I repeat my bank's routing #. Loudly over much screaming.
Genius on the other end takes this moment to point out that, " miss, I think your baby is crying".
Really. You think so. And I am suddenly aware that she just might be able to hear her screams all the way in India............even after I hang up.

Comments

Sars said…
TOTALLY! My kids definitely have this allergy. Thanks for identifying it.

Popular posts from this blog

Canceled

I inhale books. So much so that I’m occasionally embarrassed by my intake. I don’t want anyone to think that I don’t work or pay attention to my family.  I’m just a fast reader and I don’t watch a lot of TV or play any games on my phone. Well – except for Wordle of course. My library card get a lot of miles. However, I still probably spend an embarrassing amount on books.  Even though I often put books in those cute little free libraries – I still have more books than shelves.  Today I did something tragic.  I did not renew my book of the month membership.  And let's be honest, it is more like three books a month.  I am not unhappy with the customer service, quality  or selection.  Book of the Month, I promise …it’s not you - it’s me.  I want to invest in my writing and I realize this going to cost me.  I don’t want to take that money from my family or my kid’s college funds.  Instead I had to evaluate what I was willing to give up.  What financial choices impact me but not as many

slow

Recently I went to the local running store and let them charge a ridiculous amount for a new pair of running shoes. I used to run. Just like I used to do lots of things, but lately I have been slow to get off the couch. Let’s be honest. This season has been a long one, and I’ve been slow to do a lot of things that are good for me. My old shoes are wearing thin and nothing motivates like a new pair of kicks.  I quickly found my brand and style of choice and asked the worker to bring them in my size. The owner spoke up from the back, “So you are picking your shoes out based on how they look?” I pulled my own foot into her view. I showed her a similar pair in teal, well worn, with the big toe scuffed all the way through. The model was a few years old and I needed a fresh start.  “Nope. These are my brand, but I’m open to your suggestions.” Runners are very particular about their shoes.  I tell her I need something to absorb a lot of the impact.  I tell her that I overpronate just a little

The annual REAL Christmas letter: 2021 edition

  One of my favorite traditions for over a  decade has been to sit down and try to write a REAL Christmas letter.  Not just the highlights, but a few honest moments as well. It started as a joke with one of my friends, thinking how refreshing it be for people to share more than just their perfect lives that we are used to seeing on Facebook and Instagram. It would be way more truthful and a whole lot more entertaining. So here goes… 2021 I had such high hopes for you. Well, actually the bar was pretty low but clearly not low enough. If I have learned anything from 2020 it is that even things that are difficult, the days are still a gift. It is a gift to gather with family without a Covid test or a worrisome 5 days after. It is a gift to go to the movies or a concert. It is a gift to go to work, school and sporting events. It is a gift to get vaccines, to board an airplane to sit in a pew at church. It is a gift to be allowed back to visit someone in the emergency room. It is a gift to