Skip to main content

to jalisa


I am thankful that it is not your picture I keep seeing on the news. Don't get me wrong I am very sad for Lasharon's family. But, I don't know her. She isn't in my 7th period class. She isn't why my stomach fell after they announced that there had been a wreck and asked us to pray and that you didn't ever come back from lunch. She doesn't sit on the 4th row, 3rd chair back. But you were both in that car they found wrapped around a tree. She didn't fall asleep during the notes last week. She didn't come in for tutorials yesterday. She didn't tell me about her dreams to go to NYU and be a pediatrician. You did. And although something terrible and horrible happened to you today, soon you will be back in the 4th row. Your world isn't going to back to normal maybe ever. Your world has been turned upside down. But your world is still here. In my 7th period class. Struggling to understand protein synthesis. A chance to fulfill some of those lofty dreams. Who cares about protein synthesis anyways. My stomach is still in knots -- becuase there really isn't any word on those other 4 girls. Just the one. The one that had all the grown ups red eyed and weepy and the students in disbelief. Most of us have been down this road before. This is part of the job we hate the most. These are the days where I want to throw up in every trash can I walk past. These are the days I question the goodness of God. Tomorrow is going to be even worse but knowing that you will be back...mabye not tomorrow...but someday...makes it easier to face.

Comments

Alyssa said…
This is so powerful! I am amazed that you were able to put such life-giving words to this tragic event.
onevoice said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
onevoice said…
It's hard to comment on such a transparent and eloquent post...but I wanted to let you know that all (including you) will be in my prayers.
ps - sorry about the deleted comment (blogger still baffles me sometimes)

Popular posts from this blog

Canceled

I inhale books. So much so that I’m occasionally embarrassed by my intake. I don’t want anyone to think that I don’t work or pay attention to my family.  I’m just a fast reader and I don’t watch a lot of TV or play any games on my phone. Well – except for Wordle of course. My library card get a lot of miles. However, I still probably spend an embarrassing amount on books.  Even though I often put books in those cute little free libraries – I still have more books than shelves.  Today I did something tragic.  I did not renew my book of the month membership.  And let's be honest, it is more like three books a month.  I am not unhappy with the customer service, quality  or selection.  Book of the Month, I promise …it’s not you - it’s me.  I want to invest in my writing and I realize this going to cost me.  I don’t want to take that money from my family or my kid’s college funds.  Instead I had to evaluate what I was willing to give up.  What financial choices impact me but not as many

slow

Recently I went to the local running store and let them charge a ridiculous amount for a new pair of running shoes. I used to run. Just like I used to do lots of things, but lately I have been slow to get off the couch. Let’s be honest. This season has been a long one, and I’ve been slow to do a lot of things that are good for me. My old shoes are wearing thin and nothing motivates like a new pair of kicks.  I quickly found my brand and style of choice and asked the worker to bring them in my size. The owner spoke up from the back, “So you are picking your shoes out based on how they look?” I pulled my own foot into her view. I showed her a similar pair in teal, well worn, with the big toe scuffed all the way through. The model was a few years old and I needed a fresh start.  “Nope. These are my brand, but I’m open to your suggestions.” Runners are very particular about their shoes.  I tell her I need something to absorb a lot of the impact.  I tell her that I overpronate just a little

The annual REAL Christmas letter: 2021 edition

  One of my favorite traditions for over a  decade has been to sit down and try to write a REAL Christmas letter.  Not just the highlights, but a few honest moments as well. It started as a joke with one of my friends, thinking how refreshing it be for people to share more than just their perfect lives that we are used to seeing on Facebook and Instagram. It would be way more truthful and a whole lot more entertaining. So here goes… 2021 I had such high hopes for you. Well, actually the bar was pretty low but clearly not low enough. If I have learned anything from 2020 it is that even things that are difficult, the days are still a gift. It is a gift to gather with family without a Covid test or a worrisome 5 days after. It is a gift to go to the movies or a concert. It is a gift to go to work, school and sporting events. It is a gift to get vaccines, to board an airplane to sit in a pew at church. It is a gift to be allowed back to visit someone in the emergency room. It is a gift to