I am thankful that it is not your picture I keep seeing on the news. Don't get me wrong I am very sad for Lasharon's family. But, I don't know her. She isn't in my 7th period class. She isn't why my stomach fell after they announced that there had been a wreck and asked us to pray and that you didn't ever come back from lunch. She doesn't sit on the 4th row, 3rd chair back. But you were both in that car they found wrapped around a tree. She didn't fall asleep during the notes last week. She didn't come in for tutorials yesterday. She didn't tell me about her dreams to go to NYU and be a pediatrician. You did. And although something terrible and horrible happened to you today, soon you will be back in the 4th row. Your world isn't going to back to normal maybe ever. Your world has been turned upside down. But your world is still here. In my 7th period class. Struggling to understand protein synthesis. A chance to fulfill some of those lofty dreams. Who cares about protein synthesis anyways. My stomach is still in knots -- becuase there really isn't any word on those other 4 girls. Just the one. The one that had all the grown ups red eyed and weepy and the students in disbelief. Most of us have been down this road before. This is part of the job we hate the most. These are the days where I want to throw up in every trash can I walk past. These are the days I question the goodness of God. Tomorrow is going to be even worse but knowing that you will be back...mabye not tomorrow...but someday...makes it easier to face.
I inhale books. So much so that I’m occasionally embarrassed by my intake. I don’t want anyone to think that I don’t work or pay attention to my family. I’m just a fast reader and I don’t watch a lot of TV or play any games on my phone. Well – except for Wordle of course. My library card get a lot of miles. However, I still probably spend an embarrassing amount on books. Even though I often put books in those cute little free libraries – I still have more books than shelves. Today I did something tragic. I did not renew my book of the month membership. And let's be honest, it is more like three books a month. I am not unhappy with the customer service, quality or selection. Book of the Month, I promise …it’s not you - it’s me. I want to invest in my writing and I realize this going to cost me. I don’t want to take that money from my family or my kid’s college funds. Instead I had to evaluate what I was willing to give up. What financial choices impact me but not as many
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ps - sorry about the deleted comment (blogger still baffles me sometimes)